My piano cries, bleeding over my fingers...

Flicked Mind is playing for Meet The Band gig too!

2008-08-05T05:55:00.000-07:00

My other performance! :D

I am cursed

2008-08-03T08:53:00.001-07:00

I think i am cursed to be playing in bands..

I seriously dun understand why am i so attached to band?! I never see a live band in my whole life until i am 19 but since i'm 15, i vowed to have a band and that is the MAIN reason why i wanna study music. Yeah, if my mum knows tat, she'll kill me..

Nobody influenced me, Nothing started the trigger. I just... cant help it :( I even got into serious depression after my first band disbanded.. and i nearly broke up with my BF... sigh...

Passion... yeah, i think thats the only word to use... I have the greatest passion and faith in band than any other people i have known so far... I will die if i stop playing band. And i hate that feeling, trust me. I do.

Well, for those who feel like havin a band or just wanna try out having own band just because it looks cool or fun or just out of curiosity.. yeah, try it~ wont do you any harm..

But dont forget that u will reach a time that either your band members dislike the way you do stuff, or they think they are so great and have attitude problems and do not commit themselves in band... You will know exactly how hard it is to form a band. Unless u just wanna take it as a hobby or to kill ur time. (The above are from the point of view of a band leader)

Yeah, having a band is a big responsibility. For me, it is like having a second BF, if u already have one, or having a pet. It's a huge responcibility. For me, it's not just for fun.

Because i am serious about it and it took a big part of my life.

For those who understand how i feel, welcome to the cursed island. For those who think it's dramatic and overboard, your passion is just not enough.

Because i dont just blutter out the stuff in my head. I do what i promised myself and the people around me, i dont give empty promises, i work hard and i aim high.

Still, its better be safe than sorry.

Choose the correct partner before u work with them, Do not fool around and waste people's time :D

Good luck!

My cat!!!

2008-07-24T23:37:00.000-07:00

Well, God knows that i need a pet to keep my day going, or take the stress away...

But....

He/ She, sorta gave me the wrong pet -,-''

I'm a dog lover honestly,

But he gave me a CAT instead.... with a dog's size and personality -,-''

How sweet...

Ehem, but certainly..

I TOTALLY LOVE MY CAT!!

His name is...
芼芼 (pronounce as MAO3 MAO3, means fur in chinese)

The reason i name him this is because of his fur... -,-''

It's really.... everywhere~

And i am so lucky that i found him... He's an expensive breed btw...

Cost bout RM2700.. i saw one the same breed as 芼芼 in a pet shop... so damn expensive.. i can sell him and buy a new hp! wahhaha.. (shld i?hmmm...)

Well, as u can see, i dun have a fancy high tech phone that can capture pictures so i have to steal other ppl's picture of their lovely cats...

But my cat look exactly the same as the picture i posted down there.. expect for the fur.. its superrrr long, like a Persian XD

This is 芼芼 when he is moody/ sleepy
This is 芼芼 when is is pissed... although he seldom do that..
And this is 芼芼 when he is happy! Purr Purr Purr whole day... :P
This is 芼芼 when he is sleepy... OMG, damn cute!!

British Short hair's most appealing features is the built-in smile caused by the round prominent whisker pads. This smile was never displayed better than in Lewis Carroll's Cheshire cat; originally a tabby British Shorthair.

Description of a British "Blue" Shorthair:A very sturdy and strong cat with a body shape that is almost square, since they are almost as broad as they are long in length. Like a bull dog, a British Blue Shorthair has thick, short legs on a heavily muscled body. With broad shoulders and powerful hips, the British is affectionately referred as the body builder or bull dog of the cat fancy.The head of a British Shorthair is very massive, broad, and round.

Temperament: British Shorthairs are very affectionate, quietly following you from room to room until they can settle contentedly by your side. Gifted with lasting patience and confidence, Brits are especially good with children and other types of pets. A moderately active cat, they are not destructive as a breed, adapting well to any size household. British are very easy going and are affectionate to numerous people in the circle they consider family.Most breeders recommend feeding a British a high-quality dry food.

My cat is about this size nw... 4.5 KG -,-'' eat aaaaaaa lot!! I am going bankrupt soon...

But i think soon he will turn into this.....

Iskh~~

Some other colours...NIce :D

Next time if u are thinking of having a cat...

Try this breed... u wont regret XD

Except for the cost of food la.. they eat aaaaaaaa lot >.<"

Some random thoughts

2008-07-23T00:10:00.000-07:00

There are lots of misunderstanding around my friends just because they posted some of their private thoughts to blogger and bla bla bla... u knw the story la..

I just dun understand why ppl got so worked up sometimes because of all these... well, if u feel that it is offensive, or even talking bout u, just dun click on the blog and read it la! haiyo~ is it that difficult?

PERSONALLY, i just feel that people have the tendancy to gossip. I think God somehow put some hormone or gene into human that ppl just cant help to gossip (I mean most of the ppl la, not EVERYONE). From wat i've observed from my friends so far.. i noticed that most of my friends like to talk about ppl, and most of the time, trash-talking bout someone he or she knows just because they ran out of topic to talk to each other. And, it is obviously effortless to capture the person's attention since gossiping is such a fun stuff to do and hence, the two individuals will have lots of talk about and eventually become close to each other. By trash-talking someone they know at the back. I wonder why? There are soooooooo many things u can talk bout, Life, Pet, Food, Movies... pttfff~ nvm, u got the idea..

Well, another thing. Posting up ur private feelings or trash talking bout ppl u knw (with or without puting the name on), will not solve any problem. For example, i used to write bout my feelings on my blog, especially about my relationship when i feel really bad and hope that someone will come and comfort me and stuff. Yeah, they will be ppl comforting me and stuff but they are just not my BF. And deep down inside me, i knw that the only person who can help me feel better is my BF because he's the trigger to all the emotions i was having. And most importantly, he stops reading my blog when i started using it as a media to complain. So, its useless. The most effective way to deal with it is to lay it out on the table and talk to the person concerned! Hmm...

Well, above are the experiences and opinions i have. So, dun get offended and stuff like that (really worried after seeing what my fren gone thru O.o")

So... ciaoz!

Oh ya, come support my gig!! hehehehe

Namo amitabha....

2008-06-26T21:08:00.000-07:00

People....

I just... dissected a fish (for my lunch).. for the very first time in my life~!!

Aaaaa~~~~

Imagine i have to do this....

And this!!?

Ok.. mayb this is not really persuasive cos i cant find any really disgusting pictures on net...

But well, due to the fact that i felt the fish is actually staring at me...

I ripped off its head before i start cutting the stomach open..

Wahahahahhaa

I think i gonna be vegetarian soon

*gulp ~_~*

Kopi MilkShake Band Gig!!

2008-06-20T11:01:00.000-07:00

This is a very 1st gig that fuse Chinese and Malay underground performing on a same stage! This is our very first gig with the theme "ORIGINAL", which means each band must have their own composition, and in the meantime, we take this opportunity to promote Flicked Mind's new single. Please support us!!

Date: 9 August 2008
Time:1pm - 9pm
Venue:1 Cafe
address: No1, Jalan Silang, Oriental Bank Building, 50100 Kuala Lumpur.

Featured Band:
• Apple Juice
• Bubble Gum
• Aural Joint
• Elektrik Retro
• Mage
• Asboon
• Fetus
• Flicked Mind

Booth:
• JRock Kingdom IV T-Shirt Booth
• Gundam Booth
• Kopi MilkShake Art Craft Booth
• EP Booth

P/S: If you have something nice to sell or just, anything that u would like to sell, pls give us a call Rental for small table : RM30
rental for big table: RM 40
You may start selling from 12pm.

For enquiries: Yuki 012-209 1499 Jay 012-612 3369

Above are all the information about the gig i am organizing.. Im really excited! this is my very first gig (organize by myself la) and i will keep this theme going and plan to have a gig every 6 months. Hopefully got ppl support me la! :P

Feast your eyes...

2008-05-21T01:24:00.000-07:00

JROCK KINGDOM 4!!!!

Come feast ur eyes with people with weird looking clothes and make ups -.-

Winner of best dress competition

Visual Kei people

People who took part in fashion competition

Haze + Miniature Garden

Drako' Zen

Feng Tau!!!

Bouncing Asian

Vocalist - Stif

Guitarist - Jay.. Yer! A Kua! >.< Guitarist - Kent Ang (Kentang?)

Ho chiak...

J'Misquall

Lots of audience eh?

Vocalist - Michelle
Strawberry Jam

Vocalist - Jeremy
Jeremy again, with the crowd worshipping him

Mage
Ichiro a.k.a sexy thights
drummer - Terry
Vocalist - Moon
Moon and David

Me with random people :P

Me in Wa Lolita.. i was broke after i bought this!! T.T

Ice Food!

2008-05-15T07:10:00.000-07:00

Malaysia’s First Snow Dessert Shop

Craving for some cooling, thirst-quenching food during hot humid day? Or looking for a comfy and suitable place for gathering? Why not patronize Mill Wheel, Malaysia’s first ice specialist dessert shop, which was also promoted by Ho Chak! TV program from 8TV?

Perhaps you might think this is another shop that sells ice kacang, or ice creams with fancy colored syrups on top of tasteless shaved ice. That was exactly my first reaction when a friend of mine insists that I should try out this shop. And to my amaze, I fell in love with the shop and the food the moment I stepped my foot into it.

First of all, it is not just any dessert shop that you can see at road sides, or even in shopping complex like One Utama. It is a combination of a dessert shop and a gift shop. Imagine yourself sitting in Memory Lane with a big bowl of ice dessert in front of you. Not to mention dining with teddy bears and colorful cards around you. That was a total new experience for me!

The owner of the shop Jim Reno Tan said that owning a shop like this has always been part of his dream. “Since I was young, desserts were always on top of my food list. And my favorite will always be cold desserts.” Tan explained enthusiastically, “Few years back, when I was in Taiwan on my vacation, I was surprised to see the amount of ice shops in Taiwan! It was then I came out with the idea of starting a business like this.” Tan says that Taiwan has the largest ice-eating culture in the world. Therefore he took the idea and came out with his own recipes.

“I know that Malaysians love ice kacang. Therefore, I wanted to create something people had never tried before, but at the same time, suitable for Malaysians’ taste.” said Tan while showing his menu to me. “My shop serves all sorts of ice, from the softest to the hardest. You name it, we have it.” “Oh, one very important thing,” Tan added quickly, with a grin on his face, “My desserts are ice, not ice creams. They are two very different things.”

I was confused by that statement but was soon overwhelmed by the numbers of ice desserts shown in the menu and couldn’t made up my mind which to choose. Apparently Tan already made the decision for me. He asked the waitress to serve me his shop’s specialty, ice cake. “This is Malaysia’s first ice cake, you can’t find it elsewhere.”
Yam Ice Cake
When it was put in front of me, immediately I understood what he meant by ice cake, and not ice cream cake. From the side, the cake looks a bit like those sponge cakes that we can buy in bakery shops. But it is definitely not those ice cream cakes that we see in Baskin Robins or Haagen Dazs.

“It is spongy!” That was my first reaction. I was surprised that he can actually create a texture like that with ice! Moreover, the sweetness of the cake is very natural, unlike those man made flavors that will make you feel guilty eating it. Plus, the ice is so smooth that it melts right away in your mouth.

“This ice cake that you’ve just eaten”, explained Tan, “Was made from sea salt, which imported from France that contains over 80 types of minerals. And it was mixed with distilled water and flavorings and was frozen for approximately 30 hours before it was served. And I came out with 3 different flavors, yam, strawberry and mango.” Again, I was astonished by the facts that Tan just fed me. Isn’t it a great news for ladies who love desserts but are restrained from having it due to the needs of keeping a nice body shape? Moreover, you can get this magnificent ice cake with only RM 4.90 per slice! In short, this is a healthy and affordable dessert that everyone can enjoy!

In fact, all the ice desserts in Mill Wheel have the goodness of the ice cakes. For instance, similar ingredients can be found in the next specialty of the shop named 20, 30 and 40. “I came out with a series of shaved ice with different flavors that suits different ages of people,” described Tan, “20 has the mixture of lychee and watermelon, which I assume will be suitable for people at twenties. While 30 serves people around thirties with chocolate and strawberry flavors and 40 has the mixture of chocolate and milk tea.”

40

“However, out of my expectation, 40 is the most popular one!” Tan laughed while the waitress served me 40. “As you can see, 40 has texture different from ice cake, but they are actually made from similar ingredients. It’s just that I need to put the huge ice cube into a special ice shaver to produce a texture like that.”

I was delighted to see the generous portion of this dessert. The ice has toppings of cereals, oats, nata de coco and love letters! Talk about luscious desserts and health conscious, Tan has it all! The texture of the ice is really special. It looks like ice flakes rather than the snow-like texture we usually see in ice kacang; and it feels like cotton candy, except it is cold of course. When the chocolate and milk tea melts in my mouth, I can only say that they are heavenly match flavors. This scrumptious delight only costs RM 8.90! The serving is big enough to share with two persons.

“That’s more,” Tan announced happily when he saw the satisfying look on my face. Next, Tan brought me his third specialty, Snow Cheese. This is something cheese lover must try! It might be a bit difficult to imagine how ice goes together with cheese, but I must say that they are perfect for each other. The cheese is so creamy and silky it feels as if it was carefully mixed with milk and butter. And the lychee flavored ice is so refreshing that I just can’t stop digging into the cup. There are other flavors available too such as strawberry, chocolate, watermelon, milk tea and mango. Each cup is only RM 5.90.

Apart from the specialties I just introduced, Mill Wheel also provides other must try ice products such as claypot salad snow (fruits with ice), Ice Tank (flavored ice with puddings and fruits), cold dog (ice sticks with buns) and side orders like cabonara spaghetti, ham toast, sausage platter and others.
Claypot Snow

Cold Dog Strawberry Snow Cheese

“I’ll come out with new products every few months,” said Tan when he was asked about his future planning, “I’m now experimenting on making ice steaks and ice dimsum. Hopefully they can be out in a few months time.”

“I planned to create a shop that serves everything that deals with ice. Besides, I will decorate my second outlet into an ice globe, with full blast air-conditioning, provide the customers with an experience of eating ice in chilling environment.”

You can visit Mill Wheel every Sunday to Thursday from 12 pm to 11 pm and Friday and Saturday from 12 pm – 1 am, at No. 72&74, Jln Metro Perdana Barat 2, Tmn. Usahawan Kepong, Kuala Lumpur.

My new song!

2008-05-03T23:00:00.000-07:00

My new song. Sorry bout the sound quality.. Took with camera :p But will record it in studio next week!!

Spam me with comments!! :D

Mum I'm Sorry

Mum I'm Sorry
Music: Hui Kee
Lyrics: Hui Kee
There are people says

That picture can paint a thousand stories
So now i'm using my song
To tell u my story

There was once a little girl
who was brought up in a beautiful world
In a beautiful family
And beautiful dresses to wear

This girl was always her mama's little princess
She was always give the best thing
Best thing in the whole wide world

But one day....
One day she made her mother cried...

"Oh Mum I'm sorry
I'm sorry i'm not a
Perfect daughter you want
Me to be someone else
Someone else but
Someone else but me..

And it hurts so much when i look at the mirror i see someone
Someone i couldn't even
Recognize anymore…"

It was 14 years ago
When she left her home to somewhere far
But she
Never realized
How much her mother had cried for her
All she had in her mind
Was to get the hell away from that place
Cos she
Hated her life
And she, hated herself...

One day...One day she put herself to...
Sleep...

Category: Music

Music for Change

2008-05-03T22:33:00.000-07:00

I've lost a few of my articles.. so i post whatever i have la :p

Enjoy!

UCSI School of Contemporary Music Concert ~ Music for Change

The UCSI (University College Sedaya International) annual music concert was a great success when Juan Pablo De Zubiria (guitarist, composer and vocalist), the limelight of the concert that day and Gruvavenue, the guest band, performed their heart out and astounded the hall of a quarter full audiences in 21st March 2008.

The theme of this year’s concert is ‘Music for Change’, where the music that was played during that night suggested an artistic reflection of the paradigm shift experienced by the new generation as it strives to assert its identity in a world hindered by misconceptions and unnecessary divisions.

The concert started with three original songs performed by the guest band, Gruvavenue. Gruvavenue is a well establish jazz band in Malaysia consist of artists who come from a wide range of jazz backgrounds. The members that performed that night was Tay Cher Siang, the pianist, Martin Ngim, the drummer, Vincent Ong, the bassist and Shazee Ishak, the saxophonist and vocalist.

Personally, I like the way they arranged their songs and wrote them in an unconventional way. When Shazee Ishak started rapping their new song named Elephant Vanishes, the crowd started cheering excitedly and Ishak encouraged the audiences to dance along with the music, which they did!
After the three songs by Gruvavenue, Juan Pablo De Zubiria’s band, the New Contemporary Ensemble was next, presenting 11 songs, which 7 of them was written by Pablo himself. When the band members were walking to the stage, I was stunned by the numbers of performers in the band, and also the people that were involved in this performance. There were more than ten members in the band, but most importantly, it’s a mixture of classical and contemporary players! The band members were mostly from the faculty of UCSI contemporary music, and also a few from classical music department. There were a few students and graduated students as well. To me, it looked like an international music festival because the performances were from many different countries including Mauritius, Columbia, and Bangladesh.

Juan Pablo

When the band started their first song, they threw the audiences off their seats, and it continues to amaze us until the end of the concert. This is mainly because the songs were uniquely written, without any stylistic restrictions by Pablo where he plays around with different styles of music including world music, rock music, jazz and classical music. All bounded together by a unified musical vision. Most importantly, it is fun to listen to! The song that gave me the deepest impression is Origen, where Pablo claimed that he wrote this for the girl he met and fell in love with after he came to Malaysia. Indeed the message was clearly brought out by the song as it was a sweet, smooth song written in bossa nova style. The applauses and cheering were non stop throughout the whole performance, until the last song, Monkey See, Monkey Do were played.

If I had three thumbs, I would say that this is no doubt, a 3-thumb up performance because this is the best contemporary music concert (so far) I’ve been to. Although the music industry in Malaysia is relatively small, it’s definitely growing rapidly. Furthermore, it is thrilling to watch it grow and involve in the process. I’m definitely looking forward for more performances in future.

Brand new blog!

2008-05-03T21:46:00.000-07:00

Well, i bet many of you were wondering how come i did not manage my blog for a long time~

This is because, i found a better (MUCH better) way for me to publish my thoughts where lots of people will read it and most importantly, i got paid for doing that!

Wondering where i got this lobang? Heh~ I send my article to Star paper (R-AGE section) every now and then. In fact, i've been doing this since last year October. So, instead of writing something new in my blog, i am thinking of posting all the articles i wrote that are publish in Star paper. In case some of you have missed it :p

So, hope u enjoy my new blog ''system'' and hope you like my stories :D

Of course, anyone of you have interesting stories to tell or need my help to publish anything on the paper, feel free to contact me!

i vomit 20 times... how bout u?

2008-05-03T06:49:00.000-07:00

i will pay RM 20 for the person who can watch this from the beginning till the ver end..

http://www.petatv.com/tvpopup/Prefs.asp?video=fur_farm

Battle of the Bands 2008

2008-03-10T06:02:00.000-07:00

Finally i took the time (and courage) to post this video up!

This is the video taken during Youth '08 battle of the bands event.

Obviously my band were eliminated during the preliminary round. But i can say that this is the best performance experience (so far) i had! The crowds were great and the atmosphere was good too! Of course, the judges are not interesting and my voice are shaky during first few minutes.. (nervous + register problems perhaps) and thanks Stif for going to vocal amps while my voice is the most shaky -_-"

Indeed i got lots of good comments, from my friends that went there to support me that day, from some members of other bands, and some new friends, even an uncle who sell T-shirt on the 3rd floor came down and said that i performed well.. Of course those comments really made my day~ But the most important thing is...

I took the courage to go for the competition!

Although i didn't get anything, but its a great experience and i got new fans! i guess.. hehehe... and this video gonna be one of my memory...

Because i am going to quit band very soon... but will definitely produce our 1st EP first! ^^

Enjoy!

what the F***??

2008-03-03T08:46:00.001-08:00

Wow...

It's really amazing that i actually made 3 person made in a single night.. within 3 hours...

First is by an ang mou dunno who... scold us like nobody's business... this is like the first time we were scolded in public restaurant during a fren's bday!! amazing...

Later, my bf scold me for accusing him for ntg... i also dunno what to say (i am paranoid already ... confirm*)

Then there's this strange guy accuse me for not having any sense of humour~

What a confusing night @_@

Still have to continue my Chuck Berry and Little Richard paper...

Even more confusing!! Rock and roll or classic rock??! *shit*

Another morning...

2008-02-20T20:48:00.000-08:00

I woke up this morning... Hoping for a better day...

Yes, i did.

But the pain roused back at me.. painfully reminds me what had happen... telling me that I lost someone i treasured so much.

Everything ain't the same anymore. The smile, the laughter, the promises....
They are just a tool for me to cover up my misery...
But they cannot do anything to heal my wound.

My wound will always be bleeding..
THe memory will haunt me always...
The pain will still remains..

And yet, i feel so numb...
Naively thinking that all these are dreams..

Shld i talk to that girl?
Shld i pretend nothing happen?
Shld i believe in what he told me?
Shld i just walk out and never turn back?
Shld i be torturing myself?
Shld i make my revenge?
Shld i show him how painful it is?

Shld i bleed?

I dunno.... I just need a hug... and lots of answers. Sincere and true answers..

My soul was murdered...

2008-02-19T21:35:00.000-08:00

18/2/2008... I saw something that made my heart skipped a beat... something that will haunt me forever... something that cruelly sliced my soul apart... leaving it astray and waiting to be decomposed...

All the while i thought i will only see this kind of incident from TV shows... or even from some of my frens, i suppose... never did i expect, or dream that such thing will happen to me.

The feeling is like, bounding my hands with metal ropes filled with torn, letting it sunk deep into my skin and let the blood ooze out little by little.. all i can do is wait for all the blood to run dry... nobody can hear my scream, or my pain.. and eventually, i will die.

Later, the feeling will spread to my whole body, run thru my veins an blood vessels, affecting my immune system and slow down my heart beat. I can feel nothing. All i know is i am floating, to no where. Now i cant feel my hands anymore. They are not part of my body already. I'm standing alone.. All alone in a place that i am familiar with.

All the promises turn to ashes, and they will disappear when the wind blows hard.. So hard that i cant even open my eyes. Or i choose not to open my eyes. Refused to accept the fact that i was hurt, so badly, refuse to forgive. But my heart is still reaching out, trying its best to move till the last seconds, vow to continue till the very end. Its definitely painful, exhausting and heartbreaking.. But, love overwhelmed mistakes, and forgiveness soon took its part.

The person i love the most just torn my soul apart. No matter how hard u try to sew it back, the scar will be forever visible.

NICI soft toy performance! ^_^

2008-02-12T05:03:00.000-08:00

Finally my two little darlings have their very own video!! ahhaha

Me and my bf was watching one of our fav anime~ Samurai Champloo and suddenly this tune was in one of the episodes.. and i dunno why they sing this while explaining the sex culture in Japan -_-"

Come come let's watch the clip.. *applause pls*

Beat box: Teddy
Melody: Yang Yang

XD

Malaysian Today's You Are Hired Competition

2007-11-14T20:03:00.000-08:00

Remember that i mentioned about a competition i joined not too long ago??

Here are the pictures and details!!

This is the banner of the competition, and also the banner that attracted me to go for the interview! haha.. and i was really shocked that i got chosen for the competition!

Something even more shocking...

Hokkien beng joining the competition?!(Opss.. shldn't judge ppl by the look huh? :p)

OKie.. now let me show u the competition venue~~It's on the 10th floor in Time Square (which is that first time that i actually walk to that area), just inside the food court...

I cant believe that i actually stayed in Times Square building for more than 20 hours!! OMG~~

The first task was given out by the MC of the day (the guy with a mic and black shirt), can see me at the end of the table? that's my team's table. Our team is EMPOWER~ wohoho... (~_~)

The first task is kinda easy. The only thing we need to do is ask people to sign up survey form for us. The only thing that the organizers gave us is one piece of survey form and RM 10.

So, i ran off like a crazy woman with my heels from 10th floor to 7th floor and to 5th floor, looking for photocopy shop. Finally... we found one that actually opens 8.30am.

Well, this picture us quite decieving... I AM the one who actually bargained for the price of the survey forms lo!! From RM20 for 500 pieces to RM10 for 400 pieces... pretty good huh?? :p I have the potential to be a full-time auntie! haha...

Guess what?! Our team got number two! only 1 mark away from the first team! and 60% of the survey forms are from me! (i never lie ok.. -_-)

well, the 2nd task starts right after the first one. Those ppl are crazy! they though we are some super human or something. And i must say that the lunch that they provide tasted horrible ~_~

In the 2nd task, we required to plan a street event to promote the Malaysian Today's newspaper. So, all the teams are asked to spread out and we have exactly 4 hours to prepare our proposal to the director of this competition.

This is the picture of the director(the lady with the red dress), beside her is the preson who wrote the blog, (http://www.youarehired.wordpress.com/) and also where i steal all the pictures from :p She is a gorgeous lady, very strict and knowlegable i must say.

After we completed the proposal, we need to approach the director to ask if she approve our ideas. So, when we confronted her, i was so nervous, although i am not the one who talked to her. It's because we will be kicked out of the game if our ideas were rejected for 2 times. Therefore, when she talked to us, she asked who contributed the 1st idea, then my team mate say is Hui Kee. Then she looked at me and say that she dun really agree with that idea. -_-" Ok, so we moved on to the 2nd idea, and she asked again, who contributed this idea. And again, my team mate said, is Hui Kee. So, she looked at me again, and said that this idea is not appropriate for this event -_-" Sooooooo, the 3rd idea, she asked again, who's idea is this, and my team mates looked at me and i chuckled. And she just realized that all the ideas are from me. She was impressed. And she told me that she very much appreciates me contributing the ideas and she said that i am very creative! haha~ But in the end she rejected 3 of my ideas, and accepts only 2.. :(

Wondering why no pictures for 2nd task??

Because the pictures they took, cant see my face!!

See~!

Iskh -_-"

And i wonder why they put up soooooooooo damn little pictures on the blog.. That day there are like.. more than 15 cameras there u know?! T_T they took so many of my pictures and they only posted those that cant see my face -_-

Ok ok, stop complaining and get on with the story..

So, the semi-final is to carry out the plan that we did the day before.

But!! on the day itself, on of my team mates vanished! he quite the game... more like.. he cant wake up that day... what kinda lame excuse is that?!

Anywyz, is was a total disastor. I made a mistake. I should have finish all the art work the day before, because on that day itself, there is no time for us to do all those. The reason that we din do that is cos we thought we are not suppose to do that because everything have to do it on the spot. And we were wrong. Damn. And my team mates go "what shld we do, Hui Kee?" "what to paint?" "what to cut?" They all drove me crazy. And yes, i was the youngest and i was leading the whole team, who are apparently Business and Marketing students -_-" WTF~ (and yes~ i am very proud of myself ^-^)

We're suppose to wear caps with some wording that will attract the crowd to approach us, and a be human sandwiches! Yup... they look really... ridiculous >.<

Hard at work.. At least this is my 'solo' picture :p

Other group hard at work too..

My team is kinda messed up at first but later, everything was set to go!

This is how i look lik, walking around Time Square for 5 hours!!!

I kept chanting.. pls dun let me meet my fren there pls dun let me meet my fren there pls dun....

Well.. we're not the only team tat look ridiculous thou :p

So, after 5 hours of running, shouting, kneeling, panting and scaring people.. The result is out...

I was sent home :'( But the MC acknowleges my effort and the heart of willing to share my ideas with other people in front of everyone! I nearly cried... i was so touched *sniff*

Well, my fren, Ann Jee's team got into final~ they are pretty good i must say ;)

So, the only thing i got back home is this goodie bag, handed over by the director of this event. Sh said the same thing again to me~ She thank me for joining this competition and she said i was talented and i can go very far, jsut don't give up :)

I went home with lots of happy but tiring memories :) and i knew lots of frens too~ ^-^

Lesson learnt: Must always approach my client and ask questions. Never rely on anyone else eventhough they seems tough and clever. And most importantly, never rely on guys! And i gain 25% of confidence too!

Second lesson:

Never drink more than 2 cans of this thing in a day. Really make u go dizzy and woo-hoo!

Here are the videos!

2007-11-05T05:08:00.000-08:00

Finally got the video from my Chamber Music Concert performance the other day..

But the starting of the video is a bit cacat thou -_- will get a better one when my school opens. Front view one ^-^

We played two piece from two different composers.

1) Anton Arensky ~ Suite Op.15 (Romance)
2) Francis Poulenc ~ L' embarquement pour Cythere

Me and Angie, my partner ( this is different partner from the previous semester's concert) were really shocked when we knew that we were selected to play for the concert.

I was really shocked actually because I never though i will be selected to play again!! haha~ really happy ^-^ two semester choosen to perform berturut-turut~ really happy... :D

I hope i will get selected again next semester~~ ^^

Gambateh!!

Wahahaha..

2007-11-03T02:56:00.000-07:00

Name 3 differences (or more) between this two videos....

Video No. 1

Video No. 2

p/s: Thanks Triya for sending the embed to me :p

To conclude (in a nutshell) :p

2007-10-31T10:01:00.000-07:00

Well, the short semester ended.. two days ago...

Relieved?? I'm not sure.. :/

Lots of things happened during the past 2 months. Been having lots of ups and downs, mood swings, mixed feelings, hi bye lots of frens, had lots of rush hours..

I wonder how much longer can i take all these craps... (of course i expect something worst in future thou..)

Had my concerto jury two days ago..

It was a total disappointment. Never expect i will play that bad. Yeah, accidents. Still, i considered it to be the worst playing throughout the whole semester. (I think i played even better during recital and classes).

Sigh... I cried. Been tahan-ing my tears on stage and also the time when i walked out of the hall. Then, i burst out~

I was so helpless during that time. I just feel like talking to someone but no one is there. (Although Su Mei is there beside me... but...)

Mr. Loo saw me crying even though i tried to avoid him..

But he said something to me after the performance and i really thank him for those words he said.. Although the words he said is quite "limited" :p . But i believe words are powerful~ cos it can destroy u or make u a better person. So i was really touched when i know that he actually cares. (I hope he does ^-^ if not i'll be perasan-ing)

Also, i really thank Dr. Jeff for being there. He's so far, the most caring and understanding lecturer i've ever met. He sent me sms saying i've done a great job, it was a nice performance. I doubt it~ *_*

Later that day, i went out lunch with Mr. Loo and Su Mei and others. I was kinda nervous and malu at the same time.. Mixed feelings again.. But i went for lunch in the end also..

Then i realized that actually Loo is a very funny guy~! he's friendly and i wonder why i was sooo fucking afraid of him for the past 2 years -_-"

Most importantly, he is not as ''geeky'' as i though :p Found his facebook and friendster!! haha~ He's actually a very fun person to hang out with.. Cant believe i said this but i hope i can hang out with him more often in future ^-^

Then, my day ends with the Chamber Music Concert. Oh, i was selected to play for the concert this semester.. again! was so excited when i found out that.. It took me by surprised seriously~ i never thought we played that well... But the concert went on very well ^-^ although lots of unhappy and messy things happened in between and i was actually very panic before i went on stage. But luckily the performance went on well. I feel that it was actually better than the assessment day itself. Although my partner made a few mistakes.. but the whole thing was kinda good :p will post up the video very soon people!

Sigh... had lots of mixed feelings, and not to mention MORE nightmares lately.. It's really tearing me apart..

Well, frens come and frens go.. But i never though my fren will leave me in this way..

I always say that love is a deadly trap. If not people wont use the word "fall" in love in the first place. Although i always said that in the past, I don't really understand how it feels... or more precisely, what it meant.

But now i sorta get what it means.

My fren chose to leave me although it was really painful. And i believe that it hurts him more than it hurts me. But i think that he made a right choice. In fact, i think he.. no, we should take the action 2 months earlier.

My decision indirectly hurt a guy's soul. But i feel that, sometimes the act of cruelty is the show of kindness. Therefore, when i've choose the path. I'll stick to it. Although I'm not sure if i will regret in the end. But, i must take the responsibility for what i've chosen, and what i've promise. And it hurts me as well. Seriously it does.

But I believe that I'm doing this for the person I love and the person who loved me.

I thank God that I met him. He's the sweetest guy i've ever met. But fate decides that we shall be frens. At least that is what i though.

Ya, he'll always be my best fren.

And I shall return to the Hui Kee I want to be and wave old Hui Kee good-bye.

Horny Cat!

2007-10-26T21:11:00.000-07:00

My bf went to a pet shop in Carefour Kepong, and he spotted this..

*Notice the white cat with brown tail* -_-"

White cat: Hi gorgeous.. Meow~
Brown cat: Hi, I think I like you..
White cat: Come come I give u kiss kiss..
Brown cat: huh? Ok, hugs..
u can go now..
White cat: oh come on~~ I want more.. *rub rub rub*
Brown cat: *hug* ok, I hug liaoz… now go away~
White cat: lai lar lai lar.. dun paiseh... mucks mucks
Brown cat: meow~ -_-"
White cat: come come brownie.. meow meow *drool*
Brown cat: go away la bitch *push head* Meow~
White cat: come brownine ~_~ gimme gimme what i want... *drool*
Brown cat: Fuck you la! go away! ARRGHH~~
*push head hard*

Yerr... damn horny la that cat!! >.

My Concerto!

2007-10-22T21:56:00.000-07:00

Finally i got the video of my concerto performance! But the picture is too blur but luckily the sound is ok... and one of my fren who took the video right in front of me, forget to save the clip -_-" iskh~~

Well, i used about one month's time to prepare this concerto because this is a short semester. At first i was really worried about my concerto and i will go to my school's hall to practice at 7 a.m. at least twice a week, because of the stupid piano. (The recital hall piano wasn't really friendly >.<") But i really thank my lecturer to have such patience and faith in me. I never thought i can do it... Hope u will enjoy my playing! ^-^ * I screwed up my cadenza -_-"

Mozart Piano Concerto in A Major, K. 488 - 1st Movement

Accompanist: Mr. Loo Bang Hean (my lover :p)

Pls let me feel better....

2007-10-22T08:36:00.001-07:00

I dunno what is wrong with me lately...

I feel restless, I feel dizzy, I feel high, I feel anxious, and I feel tired altogether...

Sigh... and most importantly, I am very emotional... After so long...

There're so many things that i want to tell but right now all the words left me and i cant even describe how i feel... So pathetic...

I need hug... long, tight hug....

To prevent me from falling apart...

And i miss you so much.................. T.T

Nowadays, we 'heng' Hip Hop liaoz!

2007-10-09T23:55:00.000-07:00

I am going to take part in T-shirt design competition... organized by Echo Park (in my school -_-")

The prizes are not very attractive thou.. but still, better than nothing la... kekekeke

And most importantly, i think Echo Park just wanted to find some nice design out there without having to spend much money on a professional designer... iskh iskh... evil evil plan!

*ehem*

Here's the design!!

TADA~~~

Kindly rate this design or leave some comments pls ! ^-^

This is so true!

2007-10-04T05:37:00.000-07:00

Cancer and Gemini:

This is a very popular pairing. These two meet and feel destiny from their very first conversation. An intense physical attraction could lead to a sexual relationship or perhaps a marriage.

The key to making this work is both must to be willing to forgive and forget. One key issue here is Gemini’s need for space and variety at all times. Gemini is an air sign and also a mutable sign who can multitask, whereas Cancer focuses on one person, place or situation at a time. Cancer may mistake Gemini’s need for outside stimulation as a sign of sexual rejection and Gemini will get irritated by Cancer’s emotional showdowns and become agitated quickly. Gemini may flee and will pursue outside interests while Cancer will withdraw and become moody.

On the flipside, Gemini can banish Cancer blues while Cancer provides warmth and security to Gemini. Many of the misunderstandings between you arise because GEMINI is more emotionally detached and rational, while CANCER is more subjective, emotionally involved, and unable to be as articulate and "reasonable" as GEMINI is. Paradoxically, you are attracted to one another for the same reason! GEMINI's mental agility and wit appeals to CANCER, CANCER's sensitivity and depth of feeling is attractive to GEMINI, and you both have much to learn from one another.

*That explains everything! :p

Heart? Brain?

2007-10-01T16:44:00.000-07:00

It's been a while i write something like this... the feeling came back to me again... words just keep flowing in my head and it's so unbearable and i must write it down to ease the uneasiness...

But i never write in such early time in a day..

Well, what is wrong with me you ask?
Hmm... let's just say that the other part of my body doesn't want to listen to me anymore..

Confused??

Let's put it this way:
Normally i don't really believe (although some part of me do, if not i wont write like this) that human can think in two ways, or communicate within themselve in two ways..

One is by using the brain, the other is using the heart.

But i do now.

Yes, my heart and my brain has conflict ideas now...

I'm not lost. Although everytime i appear to be, or even say i am lost. I know what i am thinking and what i should do.

The reason why i say i am lost is just an excuse not to think or consider what the other part of me is trying to say. Because my brain ask me to act rationally and do not do something that will make me regret.

However... it gets harder to bear.. my hands are holding a precious gem that everyone else envy and i am proud of, and i know i will never ever let go...

But somehow my eyes start to glance other side of the world.

Sigh...

I hate myself when i do things like that. I feel so vulnerable, so.... like the old me.

That's why this time i rather hurt myself than hurt other people...
Because by feeling that way i will able to wake myself up, and focus more on things that is more important.

Because i will always follow what my brain says........... for now.

"Starts from 12"

2007-09-27T19:15:00.000-07:00

I was touched.... when i see this...
Overwhelmed by sweet memories...

This the theme song for the short film i took in 2005 name "Starts from 12". This short clips reminds me of all the good times we've been through in making this film.

The film will be upload soon, so for now... just watch this MTV first....
(I've very weird hair style in 2005 -_-")

Song Title: Reflection
Song: Kent Ang
Lyrics: Hui Kee
Singer: Hui Kee
Guitarist: Kent Ang
Sound mixer: MiMi

Lyrics:

独自开车走在无人的街上，看着车子里的望后镜，

看见反映的景色，仿佛是甜蜜到带，

沉重的空气围绕着我，我无法挣扎只能够无助的逃亡，

雨水无情打在我脸上泪水融进冰冷的雨水中

流进破碎的心房我知道这一次我真的真的受到了伤害

可是你你却又视而不理

当我发现你手线上的温柔已经慢慢离我而去

只剩下寂寞空气陪伴着孤独的我一直走下去

当你离开我生命的那一刻我的世界从此一无所有

我的影子仍然在寻找那个曾经拥有过的温暖

This is.... very shocking.... O_O"

2007-09-26T06:23:00.000-07:00

One day i passed by the booth in my school's lobby... and i saw this banner saying "Malaysia Today You're Hired!".

Out of curiousity, me and my friend stepped into the interview room just to know how people get interview.. :p

After 2 months,

I got this....

Dear Tan Hui Kee,

Congratulations! We are pleased to inform you that you have been selected to participate in “Malaysian Today You’re Hired!” as part of our search for the next Malaysian Corporate Hotshot. You are one of the 50 successful participants to receive a chance to vie for a job with one of the 7 cutting-edge companies and RM 5,000 cash!

We hope you will find participating in the challenge both an enriching and empowering experience. We wish you all the best and look forward to seeing you!

Thank you

Warmest Regards,

Eliza Mukherjee
ELIZA MUKHERJEE
Executive, MARCOMM

No. 1 Youth Weekly

The Borneo Sun Sdn Bhd
Lot 3.05, 3rd Floor, Podium Block
Plaza Berjaya
12 Jalan Imbi
55100 Kuala Lumpur

My first CME concert! ^-^

2007-08-10T23:30:00.000-07:00

I was so surprised and thrilled that i was selected to perform on this semester's CME concert! ^o^ and i will never forget what Dr. P'ng said to me that day and not to mention... he gave me a flying kiss ! *wahahahahhaha*

Most importantly, i never expect our playing can turn out to be so good! hehehehe :p

We are actually the very first pair who played this piece in our school~! and it's a major concert repertoire~

*drooollLL~~* wakakakka.. *run around and screaming to my pets*

Here's a little bit about the piece :

Debussy's Prelude to the Afternoon of a Faun

This is probably Debussy's best-known orchestral work. It was inspired by a pastoral of Stephane Mallarme, evoking a pagan landscape in which the faun- a mythological creature of the forest who is half man, half goat- awakes in the woods and tries to remember; was he visited by three lovely nymphs or was this but a dream? He will never know. The sun is warm, the earth fragrant. He curls himself up and falls into a wine-drugged sleep.

Now let's watch the clip ~! :p

Hope u enjoy it... la la la la la

Stay away from me............!!!!!!!!!

2007-08-02T07:11:00.000-07:00

Personality Disorder Test Results

Paranoid 78% 49%
Schizoid 38% 53%
Antisocial 62% 47%
Schizotypal 82% 53%
Borderline 62% 47%
Histrionic 86% 43%
Narcissistic 58% 41%
Avoidant 34% 39%
Dependent 70% 37%
Obsessive-Compulsive 74% 40%

*scores in gray are the average web score

Oh my god!! i am sooooo above average!!! stay awayyyyyyyyyyy.... from .... me!!! i have personality disorder?!?! wahhhhH~~~

*ehem* for those who dunno how what some of the terms mean... check out the explainations:

Disorder Info

Eccentric Personality Disorders: Paranoid, Schizoid, SchizotypalIndividuals with these disorders often appear odd or peculiar.

Paranoid Personality Disorder - individual generally tends to interpret the actions of others as threatening.

Schizoid Personality Disorder - individual generally detached from social relationships, and shows a narrow range of emotional expression in various social settings.

Schizotypal Personality Disorder - individual is uncomfortable in close relationships, has thought or perceptual distortions, and peculiarities of behavior.

Dramatic Personality Disorders: Antisocial, Borderline, Histrionic, and NarcissisticIndividuals with these disorders have intense, unstable emotions, distorted self-perception, and/or behavioral impulsiveness.

Antisocial Personality Disorder - individual shows a pervasive disregard for, and violation of, the rights of others.

Borderline Personality Disorder - individual shows a generalized pattern of instability in interpersonal relationships, self-image, and observable emotions, and significant impulsiveness.

Histrionic Personality Disorder - individual often displays excessive emotionality and attention seeking in various contexts. They tend to overreact to other people, and are often perceived as shallow and self-centered.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder - individual has a grandiose view of themselves, a need for admiration, and a lack of empathy that begins by early adulthood and is present in various situations. These individuals are very demanding in their relationships.

Anxious Personality Disorders: Avoidant, Dependent, Obsessive-CompulsiveIndividuals with these disorders often appear anxious or fearful.

Avoidant Personality Disorder - individual is socially inhibited, feels inadequate, and is oversensitive to criticismDependent Personality Disorder - individual shows an extreme need to be taken care of that leads to fears of separation, and passive and clinging behavior.

Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder - individual is preoccupied with orderliness, perfectionism, and control at the expense of flexibility, openness, and efficiency.

Oh Gosh~! I cost $ 59.50!! -_-"

2007-06-26T06:33:00.000-07:00

Here's the deal. Look over the following list and see how many of these things you have done. BUT you have to ADD up the money amount along the way. Then post the amount that you are as the title of the bulletin.

PS: the smaller the better! The higher means the more naughty u are! >.<

1. Had sex: $6.00

2. Smoked: $5.00

3. Got drunk: $5.00

4. Went skinny dipping: $3.00

5. Kissed someone of the opposite sex: $4.00

6. Kissed someone of the same sex: $4.00

7. Cheated on a test: $2.00

8. Fell asleep in class: $0.50

9. Been expelled: $5.00

10. Been in a fist fight: $3.00

11. Listened to music: $5.00

12. laughed so hard you peed in ur pants: $5.00

13. Prank called the cops: $3.00

14. Stole something: $2.00

15. Done drugs: $5.00

16.Dyed your hair: $0.50

17. Done something with someone older: $3.00

18. Went out with someone OVER 18 (if your under 18): $4.00

19. Ate a whole thing of oreos: $0.50

20. Cried yourself to sleep: $1.00

21. Said you love someone but didnt mean it: $1.00

22. Been in love: $4.00

23. Got caught doing something that you shouldnt have been doing: $1.00

24. Went streaking: $4.00

25. Got arrested: $5.00

26. Madeout with someone at the movies: $2.00

27. Swallowed pool water: $0.50

28. Played spin the bottle: $1.00

29. Done something you regret: $3.00

30. Had feelings for an adult $5.00

31. Had a crush on a teacher $4.00

32. Thought one of your friends parents' were hot $5.00

33. Had feeling for your best friend $3.00

34. Wanted something you couldn't have $0.50

35. Jetty Jumped $3.00

36. Being dumped $4.00

Now add up and post as "I COST $_ _.__"

deep thoughts?

2007-06-13T05:37:00.000-07:00

How u every wonder, as u grow older, the people around you seems to be lesser and lesser...
I started to get this feeling lately.. However, it doesn't really bugs me too much...

Because i get to see through people around me clearer.. and also i've learn a great lesson...

You see, some people who you think you know them so well, for so long.. can turn out to be strangers out of a sudden... you thought you gave them your whole-hearted friendship and inevitably you thought you deserved something in return. Sometimes things ain't that cool... And that's something I learn, as a lesson. I used to clingue on something so hard, i felt myself drowning inside the deep hollow hole inside me. Sometimes the emotion grew so strong i found myself weep for nothing. Someone came over and told me that it's not worth my tears, they don't worth my tears. But the little concious inside just keep asking me to try, I can make a difference! Well... things ain't as easy as I thought.

The other day, another person came by and ask me to treasure those who have been doing so much for me, and I've simply choose to ignore their effort and still hang on to those people who are hopeless like an idiot -_- ya, i'm an idiot to have realize this after so long.. There are people who thought of me whenever something crops up, cares about me when I was sick, gives me encourangement when i have exams or performances, and most importantly - willing to CRY and laugh with me, and share every bits of my life. Honestly, since i started studying in UCSI, there's only 1 person who treated me this way, as far as i can thought of (of course in Taylor's i have baboon darling~! hehe muckas~ and Stefie also when i was in my hometown ^^) But i found out she changed a lot.. she's not the old her again, but still~ I understand that people do change. Although i still prefer the 'old' her when i just got to know her, she's still someone important to me, and someone who treated me full-hearted since i knew her. I feel guilty for not appreciating her for a moment, due to the changes in her attitude (not entirely my fault also!)
Well, the person I am talking bout is - Kong Su Mei. (touch not? finally the sentimental post u've been waiting for is finally here.. haha)

Besides, I've made some unexpected ties of friendship with some people who I never thought i will be so close with. I feel that, as long as you can use you heart to see people around you, you might find them very interesting...

Well, i guess this is some life up and downs I must go through. And remember this, I don't give a shit if you don't appreciated what I've done! It's your mistake to lose a friend like me!
*lift head high and walk away*

Spongebob Suarepants Musicals!

2007-05-01T22:10:00.000-07:00

Hey ppl~!! One of my favourite catoon is coming to Spore!

SPONGEBOB SUAREPANTS!!!

WooOOOottttt!!!

Here's the details.. (cc: Su Mei)

If you're interested let me know pls! :p

DATE
31 May - 06 Jun 2007 12.30pm, 4pm & 7.30pm

VENUE
Singapore Expo

TICKET PRICE (Exclude Booking Fee)
Standard - S$68, S$48, S$38
Please add to above price $2 Booking Fee for tickets above $20 and $1 Booking Fee for tickets below $20. Charges include GST where applicable.

LATEST NEWS: Buy 8 tickets and stand to win a pass to meet SpongeBob at an exclusive Meet & GreetInternet Booking starts on 16 Apr 2007, 9am.Other Sales Channel starts on 16 Apr 2007, 10am.

Synopsis
Catch the World Premiere of the First-Ever SpongeBob SquarePants Live Show!SpongeBob Squarepants! You've seen him flipping Krabby Patties, you've seen him rip his pants, and now, you can see him live on stage for the first time ever!Swim along with SpongeBob as he chases his life-long dream of flying with the jellyfish! All his and Patrick's efforts to fly are fruitless. Then, he tucks his hair dryer into his pants, his pants inflate and he can fly! But trouble awaits him! It's a story of courage and coming of age mixed together with humor. Don't miss all the nautical nonsense with SpongeBob, Patrick, and all their friends in their first musical adventure: SpongeBob Squarepants Live! The Sponge Who Could Fly! Catch the World Premiere of the First-Ever SpongeBob SquarePants Live Show!

SpongeBob Squarepants! You've seen him flipping Krabby Patties, you've seen him rip his pants, and now, you can see him live on stage for the first time ever!

Swim along with SpongeBob as he chases his life-long dream of flying with the jellyfish! All his and Patrick's efforts to fly are fruitless. Then, he tucks his hair dryer into his pants, his pants inflate and he can fly! But trouble awaits him! It's a story of courage and coming of age mixed together with humor.

Don't miss all the nautical nonsense with SpongeBob, Patrick, and all their friends in their first musical adventure: SpongeBob Squarepants Live! The Sponge Who Could Fly!
-->

DURATION
Approx 1 hr 40 minsInterval: Approx 20 mins

It really hurts so much...

2007-04-30T21:57:00.000-07:00

It just hurts so much when the person you love and care the most do not regard you importance of existance in their life.

This is so unfair.

And i most certainly hate to see her cries. :(

Exaggerated?? I don't think so...

2007-04-26T03:19:00.000-07:00

Last two days, a guy named Chris called me. I can’t explain how excited I am after talking to him. How I wish I could just scream out loud~ Finally!! I’ve found a band that plays similar type of music my ex-band used to play and most importantly, he replied me! How I wish I could fly back to KL now and have a jamming session with those people. I don’t care how it will turn out; I just want to have fun! And I really do hope things will work out smoothly. ^^

It has been a while I go around searching for vacant band to join after the “great lost” of mine… It’s true that I myself was shocked to be carried away by the overwhelmed feeling deep down inside my soul. Nobody can understands how I endure the sleepless nights and hatred that had grew so hard inside me which nearly cost me to lost the most important person of my life. It tranquilizes me. No joke. I’ve never realized the passion inside me grew so huge, so hard and so fast even I myself could not resist. I tried to free myself from that emotion, I tried to bottle it up, and I tried to run away from it. But it stays silently in me until this very day. It’s true that I lied to people around me, even myself. I told myself to listen to my mother and friends, for it is not my profession, nor it is a professional thing to do (according to them). And I should do something more meaningful, something more professional, something belongs to the “higher-class people”.

Seriously, who cares?! I’ve realized something lately and I shall stop lying to myself. Having a band of my own had been my dream since I was young, and I shall fulfill this dream and not to be ashamed of it. And I shall give the credit to Avril Lavigne. Since there are totally no bands to be seen or heard in the place where I grew up, she’s my only influence and model to be followed. So what I am a classical student? I can do something contemporary student can do and I vow to do it better! However, it has been a mistake for me to search for the suitable persons in school that have the same passion, and most importantly, the same bond. It’s so much harder than I thought. People don’t seem to give a damn to u when they feel that u have nothing. But the problem is, they judge people so fast that they can’t even see how it happens. Well, I’ve given up the idea of depending on my school, and try to be smart. Maybe it’s my problem. Or maybe luck doesn’t fall on my side. And this is the main reason I clanged so hard on my previous band when they abandoned it, and make myself miserable because I have a feeling I will never find another band like them ever. Therefore, I’ve decided to go on my own even people disapprove me. So what if I really can’t sing as well as somebody u know? I have faith and passion stronger than anyone else. I am sure of that. I’ve been through so much I don’t mind endure even more just to achieve what i wanted.

Because this is my dream.

Holiday!!

2007-04-22T19:32:00.000-07:00

Just started my holiday.. man, i am so glad it's finally here!!

Went to incubus tribute the other day~ and it was so damn cool! seriously.. i never thought Malaysia's underground bands have such good quality! (baboon! now i know why u love incubus so much last time d! haha...)

But too bad i din take any pictures.. so ntg to show u all..

From the bottom of my heart: they are superb!

Then i went to zoo on Saturday!!

So happy... *la la la la la*

It sounds lame at first when my bf suggested zoo.. but on second thought, it's kinda fun too!

Lai lai... show u our pretty pretty pictures ^^

At the entrance..

Aiya, cannot see my head~

OK~ make my neck longer then can see d...

Our ticket...

Actually it's kinda cheap thou... RM 15 only...

Inside zoo..

New soft toy!

(p/s: not mine.. someone bought it for himself -_-)

This elephant is super greedy i tell u!!

He snatch the food from me twice!

Nice lake... hmm~

Eagle-wannabee!

We secretly took a shop's product without permission..^^

Marilyn Manson wanna-bee!

It seriously scared the kids around him tat day... -_-"

To the Aquarium!Yeah!

He spotted a cave and took of his shirt to take photos~~ AA~aaa!! so memaluukann!!Caveman -wannabee!

wahaha!! my silly bf...

Wahaha! tummy damn big oi!!

Best picture taken!

Ostrich wanna-bee..

Cow wanna-bee!

huh?!

his deer quite cute.. hee

Ah Soon?!?(Bu li mao...)

Wanted to take baboon picture for my dearest babun but it rains! -_-" damn...

In children's corner...

Really got mickey mouse o!!

Woo i love snakes!!

But they hamsap!! >.<

http://www.youtube.com/v/3ctOlHI0j7U" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="425" height="350">

Jay: Waa how come the hair so rough one?Jay: The ear also so hard! -_-"

This is called pony-tail..

I wonder why the animals wink at us so much that day... Hmm...

See?

Leng zai...

To the reptilia center!

Woah!! Naruto toad does exist!! O_O"

We spotted a lizard that day..

Doing a kung-fu pose!
Look at his soaks!! It's his sister's!

Later...

Taken during elephant show..

Taken during multi-animal show... (sounds like an animal with 4 heads..)

He volunteered to go out and challenge the ape~!http://www.youtube.com/v/ZC0VShK8Tso" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="425" height="350">

And this is the reward!

Back stage photo shooting with the apes! free one o~~

Seriously this is the first time i felt that apes are actually super adorable!! and they are so friendly! especially the smaller ape.. she loves to hug ppl around until the trainer scold her cos she cant stop hugging me! haha... super cute!

It's such a pain to see that they are going to extinct soon in this world.. althought they have strenght 4X stronger than human, but they still look so fragile... and they still cant escape the fate being killed in the wild..

I suddenly recall of a wish i made when i was young, i hope i can grow up to be someone that can speak for the living things around me, someone to protect them.. i forget that wish i made, cos i've chosen music...

MUSE concert!!

2007-03-10T09:32:00.007-08:00

I went to MUSE live in Malaysia concert!!

See??!?!?! Pitt zone!@!!
(sohai~ was being pushed to roch zone XoX asshole crowd >.<) Woo!!!Here are the Pictures pictures!!!

Soo many police car dunno for what...

I dye my hair!! too bad it's temporary one

My silly bf is my fashion designer that day... -_-"

Before edit...
After edit..

Inside the stadium..

Crowd was crazzzyyyy!

Haha.. i still dunno what's that expression and hand position means...

The stage is so so so cool!!

Got ppl tak bleh tahan oo...

I took pic with Rooddyy!!! Wooott~~~
So what o... ?? cheh~~

Gosh... everything also MUSE...
Even this~~!!

-_-" But they tasted quite nice thou~ hahahaha

Well~ it's quite a once in a life time experience for me..

No doubt MUSE is an excellence band!! especially the vocalist cum pianist cum guitarist! he has great technic on playing keyboard (heard that he's classical base... no wonder ^^) and he can jump here and there like crazy felow while playing solos! man~ it's crazy.. made me hop here and there like mad ppl also..then the next day .. nope, my whole body aches for whole week ~~ aihh...

Besides, the stage is so damn fucking cool!!! the color, the setting, the blast.. everything!! but the most important thing i like bout it is the lightning!! it goes with the beat of the song so well that it actually feels like the bass drum was attached to the wire on the lightning... it's superb!!

However, the only thing i dun like bout this concert is... it's lack of the ''live'' feel~ i mean.. if there's no crowd and lightning on the stage... it doesn't feel live at all! i mean, the song is played exactly the same as the CD does (although my frens said he did improvise A LOT... well, i guess i am not really his no.1 fans.. i cant hear any diff. haa) but this shows another amazing thing bout this concert~ he CAN really sing!!

Other than that, i think MUSE has lack interaction with the crowd~ it's no doubt that he's really amazing cos he sang for one and a half hours. non-stop!! but still.. it's like he stood on the stage and start singing non stop after saying "Selamat petang Malaysia!!" Well... not very attentive thou~ he shld talk more.. more contact with the fans... at least something... I feel as if i am listening ppl singing out of the CD.. u get what i mean... Hmm~~~

Well, it's indeed a great experience... but not a wonderful one thou~

Wat was i thinking?

2007-03-06T02:14:00.000-08:00

This semester has been a hell to me..

Piano Literature is the main culprit.
School hours has been prolonged and everything just jumbled up like nobody's business...

I've been extremely depressed since the school starts... so many things happened i feels like i am involved in a movie, watching myself stumbled against life...

Most of it is because of studies... I've never feel so stress in study in my whole life before this.. It's really been hell busy to me and i dun even have time to shit properly (seriously)

And i have problems in my relationship for a while early this year..

Man...

So y am i so free to write my emotional passage here u ask?

I am going to meet someone who's very important to someone who is very important to me.. (am i making sense?) And... at first i tot i can accept it.. i tot i can get along and it's just something i have to face if that person who is important to me is really important to me..
But when he just told me bout it.. i just realized i cant accept it.. I can't... maybe it's just temporary.. maybe it's just i am not used to it.. maybe it's still not the time ... or maybe i haven prepared for it...

So what?~

I dunno... lots of things in my mind.. i feel so alone... i remembered the dream he told me bout.. the dream without me in that whole family... where's my statues? how important i am to him? is it the same like me?

I dunno how to express my feelings towards him that i am scared... yes.. i am really scared... i wanna face someone i dunno and that person is certainly more important than me.. i dun wanna our life to changed.. but i know it will from now on... i hate my feelings...

I know i shld be happy for him but i am not... i feeling myself being selfish...

But he dun understand tat i am scared.. and i duno how to let him know how i feel..

Everything just messed up...

Pls tell me what to do....

My CME last semester! (2)

2007-02-06T02:54:00.000-08:00

Watch the recital version d?

Then watch this!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iee17IfmW3s

My CME last semester!

2007-02-06T02:49:00.000-08:00

This is me doing one piano four hands with my fren Terence ^^

I quite like it thou~ hee~ watch and tell me wat u think..

It's Frances Poulenc's Sonata

Enjoy!!

p/s: I am the one who's wearing the white tops

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KUyyfGO9PZ4

(Sorry la.. my stupid com cant paste the link i dunno y.. so u guys have to go you tube and watch lo.. aa~~)

Happy-little-Hui-Kee.. Or not?

2007-01-17T03:36:00.000-08:00

Here to read my depressing post again?

U've made a mistake pals...
Well, it's true that i am here as i always do..

But just wanna say i miss baboon out of a sudden.. (surprise myself too!!)

It seems that i've no matured (enough) frens to share my feelings...
Not to say that i am matured .. i am not, obviously.. that's y i need an ''adult'' to talk to..

I cried alone in practice room today...
I never did this..

Guess i am just super low-spirit lately...
Been having sleepless nights, heavy eye bags and extremely pale lips..

Well.. who cares anywayz...
I mean, WHO will care bout me?! (except my family and those who're close in school with me)

Seriously, i owe my dearest an apology...
For being.. ME again...
I'm depress!!

YES!!
I'VE ANNOUCED IT!
I'M VERY DEPRESS NOW...

OK.. i wanna apologies for being ''unreasonable'', ''kiddy'', ''annoying'' etc. etc.
and not understanding for a working ppl like you...
and i am still so glad to have such a nice bf like u :)

Also, i learn something from u my dear..

We've to face the fact, face the reality when we're living in this world..

Fine, i FINALLY talk myself out..

I've accept the fact that u are a Gemini..
I've accept that you cannot pampered me like other guys did to me..
I've accept that you cannot accept the logic of how girls find a simple 5-cent text sms important to them
I've accept that you're older than me and you are already tried your best to be the best guy in my life
I've accept that everyday call and contact is not necessary
I've accept everything...

Old ppl says :"Women never listen"
But i guess there're guys out there who never listen too!
Until they realize they lost something important in their life...

But honestly...

From the bottom of my heart...

Thank you for loving me..

I'm not being a very good gf i guess...

And after this post..
I promise i will make myself feel better!

You do whatever you want for me...

I will just be a happy-little-hui-kee!

p/s: Advise for gurls... Do not angry and be sad alone and hoping your guy will notice and come and sweet talk you... Because guys are single-cell animal... they wont understand unless you say it out WORD-BY-WORD...

New Year, Old me...

2007-01-04T04:50:00.000-08:00

Just now i saw my hzmate throwing tantrum to her bf ... again... and the bf, as usual, tried to make her happy although she's being unreasonable...which reminds me that she's actually a year older than me... and i DID forget that...

It sort of reflects myself in her... I was always behaving that way... and i kinda... miss that feeling.. at least i feel that i am important... and someone does needs me to be there...

I know things will get more complicated as you grow up.. and the basic thing is not to tangled the neuro system which indirectly will affect the system that controls the hormone produced.. which indirectly affects the mood and unfortunately... the extra will always be the depression hormone.. (or izzit?)

Well, frens aroudn me keep asking me whether i am happy? and some actually ask me to be happy... Gosh~ i am confuseD! I think i am happy but all the while there'll be this little voice whispering in my eyes telling me all those painful things that hurt me deep in my heart...

Life's is not meant to be that way...

My happiness are filled with doubts...

Until i MET YOU.....

I hope u are reading this my dear...
Cos we really need to talk....

I've put all my affort in building up this relationship....
Have you?

Conclusion of the year...

2006-12-26T02:50:00.000-08:00

I need help!

i need a break... this year's so tiring... so many things happen.... Just hope ppl can be more understanding... cos i'm exhausted.... Love... is not my everything... how i wish that can happen...

The gloom is back..

2006-11-25T08:38:00.000-08:00

I played in the rain for a while today...

It's was raining cats and dogs.. really so darn heavy... with lightning and stuff... But strangely i feel so nice...I dun usually fancy rain... but today it's so nice... so beautiful; I wish i can take some pictures.. But too bad my camera is so out-of-date..

well, lots of ppl ask me to update.. seems i still got some ''fans'' eh? hmm... or just being busybody?? wahaha (just kidding)

Well, sorry for not updating... Been busy designing a blog for my bf as an anniversary present

(Since he's not reading this.. shld still be a surprise.. ^^)

Hmmm.... Lots of funny things happened to me lately...

I must mention that i've got a ''new'' fren... A fren which i couldn;t think of having in the first place...

It occurs so strangely... stange, but nice.

Well, i talk to this new fren of mine for bout 2 hours the other day... sleepless night eh...

These few days been thinking of what he said to me...

But something he said freaks me out... "I've the power to make u two together,"

"But i also have the power to break both of u up"

Gosh, this sentence really creeps me to the bone...

Do i trust the wrong person?

Well, i dun care so much now~

I'm here to share something with you all...

All i know is love is very fragile.. when u think u know someone... but actually u dun...

I dunno wat will happen to me next...

He say he'll help me... i wish he will..

He told me that people learn things when something really important to him is gone...

which is very true!

In fact, i did mentioned this last time in my previous post...

"History will repeat itself unless u do something to make up your mistake."

And i was so angry i asked him how come my bf never learn?! After a painful break up with his ex-gf??

I dun wanna do something to hurt him...

I just scare i might...

But i dun wanna to...

Anywayz, i just keep on having the feeling of talking to him after that day...

I dun really trust him but still...

I feel comfortable talking to him...

At least he is understanding...

"For a moment like this...Some people wait for a lifetime..."I dun wanna wait for a life time....

2006-10-21T12:45:00.000-07:00

i was awake by the furious thoughts in my head...
It's was horrible...
I tried to run away from it by thinking bout other stuff but instead i found myself staring at my room's window and going to weep soon.. In order to stop myself from weeping i force back to sleep... and ended up sleeping till noon...

It ruin my whole day...
eventually, it forces me to blog here if not it will continue hanging around in my head for the rest of the time...

i am sick and tired of myself being control by the thoughts running endlessly in my head... I really wish someone can help me... My depression is getting worst.... :'( I dun think people can get much help for me... depression is the worst illness among all the other similar disease... this is wat i read from the book Dr. Jeff lent me...

What am i fussing about? Rewind back to the first day it occurs... not many days ago actually...

As i was searching online for any competition for band lately... because i still dun wanna give up getting my band members together and i realize having events is the only way... however, i fail..

Then the next day i when i reach my school's main door i saw huge posters of the most foundable words "Battle of the Bands". Only my LPZ knows how excited i am during that time.. and i thought at least something paid off after my hard work. However, life's making fun to me... as i was reading the rules and regulations while walking my hope eventually turns sour... They only allow 1 non student to enter and my whole band is non student except me and my drummer.. WTF~
Still, i din give up... i run all the way back to block A and ask them whether this is really important though i know it's hopeless... And yes, my band cant enter...

Told my BF bout it and he suggested asking one of his member from ''his'' band to help out... I agreed cos there're no other choices.. although i had a bad bad feeling bout that....

And puffs!* what i am expected and afriad really happens.. my BF's other band is taking part... since they are all students and most importantly... They are LUCKY...

I just cant get over it... i know they're meant to take part... and y do i care so fucking lot for this stupid band? i dun understand myself... this never happened to me in my whole life... i never cling to something to myself so hard before this... the feeling is like my BF is having 2-GFs.. and it really stinks!

He told me he dun really care bout that band like last time he did for ours... he never find tabs and organize stuff.. i understand wat he's trying to say... i understand he's trying to make me feel better.. However, his actions denied everything... He always talk bout his band etc, what song to play next and learning the harmonizing part so that he can do it druing practice and their band photos and video is all around his computer and he himself used photoshop to chnage their pic... and did none to ours and i bet he dun even have our pic...

Yes, jealousy is the main culpit! i can imagine green gas surrounding me and suffocating me as well...

I just cant help it... all i want is stop weeping everynight and stop looking like a zombie...
And also please let me get what i want... stop giving me road blocks... it's really killing me....

---->(@)

2006-10-18T10:39:00.000-07:00

Amazing...

Cant believe i spilled out everything which i bottled up since god knows when....

However, it makes clear to me that what i am encounter now is a brand new thing in my life...

And i am sure it's not a fragile love which i tot it was before this....

This time,

I really wana thank God...

Thanks for bringing him into my life....

Friday Blues.... :(

2006-10-14T01:45:00.000-07:00

I'm here to tell a little (personal) thing bout myself. Lately I discovered lots of things. Hell lots of things. I read an article about dreams. People tends to realise what they really feel about something, anything. Well, i do not need sleep to tell me what i really feel about my life, basically... about myself... and also my band.

Irony, i just running away from my problem. Seriously i REALLY do not know that it meant so much to me. So much until i cannot breathe well. I had a sleepless night yesterday (the day before i had my voice exam) And out of a sudden i felt that this is somehow very familiar to me. I did have the same experience of sleepless night before this (As u can see, i can sleep basically anywhere, so sleepless night is awkard for ppl like me) And when my poor exhausted body are fighting those images and songs flashing inside my head, i found myself weeping. I do not know why.

Out of a sudden everything came back to me, i named it the negative "aura". i had this funny thing since i am young. I wonder why. Guess God do not fancy me as much as other people. Seriously i do think that way sometimes. Oh ya, before i continue this, i wanna made things clear. I'm a very emotional person, highly unstable and constantly depressed, therefore, all these conversation might make it feel like i am an useless idiot babbling all the way. Well, i don't care. Anyway, as i was saying, the only thing precious thing God gave me is my beautiful family and my attitude of not giving up. I've fail to achieve what i wanted since sec. school. Therefore, failure is pretty much my close fren. However, although my flesh turned to dust, i still clingue to the my beliefs. However again, I do not have luck like other people do in meeting nice (nice + "highly involved") people who will basically... "fight" over the chance to do things they like. Well, i've to fight for myself. I've to fight so hard. I am really tired. Did i did something wrong to deserved all these? I really fed up seeing those ppl getting through everything so easily just because he and she is more lucky and starting acting as if the world is thiers. Seriously i am tired..... I hate living like this.....

Ok, what is it to do with my band u asked? Well, my BF sms me telling me he has band practice. Unexpectedly, that strange feeling came back again, making me all blue and upset. We haven practice since hell knows when, they do not have the initiative of being part of it anymore. Su Mei ask me to let go since he really wanna involve in that band and i replied her saying i dun care. But actually i does. And i care it hell lot. And i am really angry when i think back that night i was scolded like shit by him when i told him he cares more bout his new band. At last he admitted, saying is my guitarist fault of tearing us apart... WTF~ It's not because of band i am frustrating about, is the same old thing again. Well, to make this even more confusing, i dreamt to have a band since hell knows when, and when i finally found one, it's getting out of my sight. How come everything i clingue to, everything i dream of having, everything i've been fighting for i will not have a peace on it?! This is what makes me furious. Really, band is just another example of the failure achievement but it somehow makes a huge impact to me because i care damn much about it. I am so fucking proud of my own band because this is where i born, this is what gives me the courage to sing and to be someone whom i though i cant be. And the most importnat thing is, we can make good music although they are not music student and i am not a contemporary student. When i first joined them, I cant sing. I sing like shit. And since then, i swear to myself i wana be a awesome singer, a singer who can impress other people and leave an impression to them. Therefore i started practicing very hard and i am happy to see myself improve. By the time, everything changed.

I always wanted to do something different from other ppl, be someone unique and do things other ppl cant. Therefore, i treasure my band although i've tried to find ppl to replace them (although my band is still existed, but is seriously dying away... i can tell...) But i fail to do so. Out of a sudden, i feel like a nobody...

Maybe i shldn't depend too much on something to satisfy my thrist of being ''big''. Well, that's what i thought when i yearn to join Refugee:Images and UCSI Recall, hopefully someone will notice, and i can sort of build the my own network. But thanks to my asshole attitude nobody will gimme a damn. Unlike some ppl, i am not that kinda ppl who will approach to other ppl by own will. I believed what Mr. Ian said was true :
"Being a music student and studying in a music school, u better hope that someone will recognize your name "

I knew that even before i entered UCSI. Too bad i am a lousy pianist (not because of my skills, but my poor foundation). Therefore, chances dropped of being noticed. Who will care of glance a not so good musicians when there're so many exellence players out there? and i cant act like Cindira, i do not have her type of character and personality which in a way, made herself well-known. But,I strongly believe in myself. I can do it, I can achieve what i wanted. But i never realize it's harder than i ever imagined. All i need is a chance. A chance to be trained by the best and be who i wanted to be.

Just pray that lucky star will be by my side.

O.O!!

2006-10-13T09:02:00.000-07:00

People,
This is so cool.

My eyes popped and my jaws dropped....

Enjoy...

I'm B-A-CK !!!

2006-10-07T05:38:00.000-07:00

It's been sooooo long since i last update~

I know...

And i now i decided to write something cos my dear fren Baboon said since i'm so lonely why not i spent 4 hours here and do my blog since the connection is slow and i am going to sleep at 12... WTF~ she even decide my sleeping time.... -_-"

Anywayz, i did tried to post something up few days ago but the stupid connection was so slow i don't have the patient to wait to upload all the pictures i took in the musicals i entered last semester... but dun worry folks!! i will definately post it up one day~ hehee

Therefore, i decided to post something ''ligther''

Alright! Let's see my Merdeka day's holiday!

I went to some Hot Spring place i think somewhere near Ipoh or something with my BF's family.. (Uh, pardon me for not knowing anything cos i was really half asleep going that place cos of the performance i had before that trip... sing till 3 am only reach home...)

Anywayz,
Well, i have to warn u that i might bored u cos i will post lots of pic of my pretty face~
muahahaha....!! dun care u can tahan o not i still wanna post! hahaha

Well,
This is the place!!
Ok, u might be able to notice i was still half asleep when taking this pic...

uh...

This is one of the man-made waterfall...
But seriously the water is over 50 celciuos!!!

Dun believe?
Seee? their feets turned pink!
(Erm, my feet is not in there...)

I apologize for not taking lots of significant bout the place...
sleepy la... -_-zzzz

But i still have some of them!
Scenes of ppl soaking their feet in the hot water...
Uh.... yucks~

Ok, now it's time to show my lame pictures!! wahahahhahaha
Dun care!! must see also...! >.< First of all, must do one of the 1-2-5 pose!!
and i chose 2!! :p I tell u... really lots of red ants there....
Painful... :'(

What? i tot tis is cute? ! <('^')> humph!
haha... WTF la...

My stupid BF go bite off the piece of leave there...

N gimme that face when i scold him...
-__-""

Later he ask me to pose at the fake tree and take picture...
and it turns out like this...
I see it's kinda nice and so i ask him to pose like me too..

Manatau...
The picture turned out like tis... *sweat*
Not my fault la! camera problem... >.< A Teck!!!
muahaha

Camera problem la!!
(explain: cant see whole body)

Somehow i feel that i am hugging a stranger...
He doesn't look like him in pictures i wonder y...

???

.....................

Then we go uh... somewhere.. (sleepy la) to eat this very famous lam mee!!

Hahaha....
I must prepare to run when i see my BF...

Sure whack me like siao cos i post all his ugly pictures to my blog...

Wonder y i do this?
Suppose to promote him right??

Anywayz...

Must bath now!!

Refugee: Images

2006-10-03T05:50:00.000-07:00

Yup!! now i am going to talk bout the musical i entered last year..... Haha.. i know it's soooo history but i just cant avoid talking bout it!

REFUGEE: IMAGES!!

The very first ''biggest'' production i've joined!

okok~~ here's all the picies!!

First of all, let me show u the place we performed...

This is Panggung Bandaraya Kuala Lumpur...
It sounds kinda lame i agree~ but that place is actually kinda cool...

I haven seen our video yet but i believe we've done really great job!!
It's a 6 months long production...(come to think of it... really killing me)
although i joined in 2 months later than other ppl (i'm last to join in) but still i can feel the hard work and effort everyone put into this musical!

Let me show u some of our pictures during performance...
I wonder who took those... but anywayz...

This is from the scene "Lady of the world"

''Fly u to the moon......."
I love this one... Just look at the picture behind (real pictures, taken from that time)
Can really feel the miserable Vietnamese time had that period..

This is the last scene...
I think...

Now...

Let me take u to that back stage...
This is a the back stage... actually i wanna take the picture where it really looks like one of the scenes in ''Silent Hill''... It's super creepy... summore the lights are flickering all the time..Blue colour summore.. hmmm....

IS making up time!!
Uh... sounds wrong... make uping time? make up time?
Whatever..
This is our make up crew!! All the way from Penang!Man, i'm so fat!!
My heart is pounding damn fast when he's doing that...
I hate putting on mascara!!! >.< Hailat.... My face gone la...

Can u believe that she's actually one year younger than me??
Gosh... i'm getting old... :'(Group photo!!
Alvira hamsap!!

Cindira trying to make Amber Chia's face!! wahahaha

Pictures taken by the press...

Too bad i cant get the copies :(

During rehearsal....

Alex likes people to punch him!!

Imagine how tired we all are.... (except Caleb la... the one with spec smiling guy.. )

Behind the scene....

Some people are resting....

Trying to act cool...

Some people try to act cool with other people..

Some try to be in other people's photo...

Some is setting up the instruments..

Some try to act cute...

Some try to act cute with behind people's back...

Some try to act cute with a group of people..

Some try to take picture with the conductor :P

Some like to take pictures with lots of people!

Someone fainted..

And i just wanna take photo with my make up artist!! isnt he cute?? :P

It was a great 4 months journey being in this group... And not to mention we have T.G.I. Friday's every day duting the performance week?! haha... yeah~~

I wish i can join production like this in future...

So, wish me luck!!

I wanna go home.... :'(

2006-08-02T02:51:00.000-07:00

Miserable week....

Can i imagine u wake up every morning feeling that u haven even close your eyes yet?

Life's just a waste of our time....

That's how i feel...
Suppose to waking up fresh instead i had dizzy head with upset throat...

Y la now?! Y now only gimme such problems?!?

I've my term paper to do with Aural, Conducting, History and theory exam around the corner...
Not to mentioned musical starts next week... whole week i have to attend finals in the morning and performing in the evening....

If i had good rest i can cope....
But not now.... Feeling horrible....

I dun wanna to cry... i just cant help it~ if i cry i need more air which is so limited here....
But at least when i cry i cant feel a thing.....

I am so helpless...

Suddenly feel that i am extremely vulnerable....
I wanna ppl to take care of me...

I wan my mum... I wan her care and tenderness...

I am exhausted.... extremely tired....

I cant breathe......

HELP!!

I have to be strong... I cant bring more trouble for people around me...
Especially those who i loved so much.... :'(

Yesterday's adventure...

2006-07-29T21:00:00.000-07:00

My day started when i pour a glass of warm honey to myself...
N i heard my throat screming in joy...
What the heck...

i had my voice exam yesterday... hmm... it went well i guess... quite satisfied but still, it can be better...
Thanks Su Mei for being my accompanist and well...
Singing in the group class is just a fame for 10 minutes (if your songs happened to be that long)
Y? cos ppl probably will forget what u did after that... (except for Davina of course... >.<)

Later in the evening, i went to Regeant Hotel for the performance, just to sing a few songs from our Refugee: Images...

When i stood there and sing i realize people who walked pass us, who sat comfortably in the lounge and those who actually enjoyed our performance so much (an african guy with an artist cap on him) gave us different expression and i suddenly felt like...

Musicians are here to entertain people... and it's like... hmmm... well, i know a lot of ppl started reading my blog and i tend to be conservative when i try to speak my mind out...

Well, let's just forget it, i've no more energy to start out a trouble for myself...hmm.. I will keep those in my little pea brain for the time... *silence!*

I'm extremely exhausted lately..never felt in my life before... i mean, i did, but this is sort of different... Opps, back to my story... after Regeant Hotel's performance we went back to the lobby where we prepared ourselves before the show and we found uh... 17x2 sandwiches and a pot of mee hoon lying there waiting for us to devoure it... and obviously it's not enough to feed 17 mouths
(when 1 Bryan=10 Hui Kee..haha!)

Therefore, Mr. Chong, which is one of our directors brought us out to feed our tummy again... he always treat us with fabulous meals!
::many thanks to him ^-^::

I tell u, when i see Bryan eat i seriously pray that in future i wont get a kid like him... if not i will definately (like what Mr. Chong says) kill myself after i gone brankrup! He seriously ate 6 bowls or izit 7? of rice!! OMG... i sat beside him and i was like...
Bloody hell...

But he is really a kind person.. spend more than an hour just to fetch everyone back although he himself if tired like a bear... *many thanks to u!*

However, when i reach the area where i stayed, it was pitch black...
No electric again?!!... ass hole... out of so many days y must be tat day when i am not in my BF's hz?

Moreover, what's more scary is that the whole hz is empty... it was pitch black and i am all alone in that hz without a tourch in my hand!
No joking matter, i really freak out...

I must admit that i honestly afraid of the dark more than anyone else... i dun even dare to walk to my room... i cant see anything!! my hp's batt is running low!!
So, i hide in Ee Jun's room cos his room has an emergency light... which i hope it can be carried around...
To make it worst, i called my hzmate and he din pick up the phone.. i was really panic..!!

In the mean time, i sms my BF telling him i am freak out...
All he does was
"Y scare? u have been staying in that hz for so long..."
and
"hmmm... poor dear dear..."

WTF?

Well darling...
Just let me rot....

Finally i got to JUliet's hp and ask them rush bek before i fainted... haha~

Man,
Cant u just make me feel better? what the heck?
Sometimes being emotional is really a no-no in a relationship...
that's y i only complaint here in my blog ....
I stop complaint straight to his face since then.....
Yup, silence is golden...
And also the key to avoid unnecessary fight...

Just like some ppl scream into a bottled water and pour the water out... meaning all the troubles will just went deep into Earth...

Yup, that's wat i am doing.. dun bloody complain bout how idiot i am cos this is the way i release myself from dissatisfaction and anger...
Plus...disappointment...

I dunno what to do when he is emotional... I know he was frus when he is sick and with his work perhaps.. moreover he had to use more than 1 hour just to fetch me back...
I tried to show him how i appreciate i am with wat he did but he dun seem to get the point...

Do u know how worried i am to see him sick? and all the happy feelings went downhill when he is unwell... But still, he duno how to take care of himself... all my words fell on deaf ears...

All i did was care....

On the other hand, i need care too when i am facing troubles... (of course this did not include the blackout)

*Sigh*

___________________________________________________________________

*Update (31/7/06):

Well... just like what i've said.. i will only fuss here in my blog and not in front of him... hmmmm... and i am glad i did that.... cos i am the one who think nonsense all the time... and he did feel guilty when i brought up the incident bout the blackout (i can tell by his expression and stutter way of reply...hehe ^-^)

However, the reason i dun wanna erase that (like what i did for the previous post) is because i did feel bad for tat day... so... whatever i dunno what the heck i doing... haha~

But... i'm glad to have him by my side.... \(^~^)/ *Hugzz*

hmmm.....

2006-07-25T09:46:00.000-07:00

Recently i discovered a blog which i quite fond of...

Her name is Mamoyo... i dunno who she is... just happened to read Kenny Sia's blog n her name is there...

Well, i love the way she blogs... she's that type of uh... typical city girl?
hmmm... straight forward and extremely open-minded...

I love her quotes.. really meaningful... well, only some of them...

Well, i rememeber Su Mei told me Rachel once told her that love is just like a little kitten...
U cant be taking granted on it too much...
Constant hurting will kill the little kitten...

Love is fragile...

Kittens may be leaving the owner although it still loves and adore the owner a lot...
If the kitten feels despair and hurt...

Reminder for Hui Kee* : Life's like that, dun clinge on that too much... U're dealing with different people with different personality!

It's a bad day

2006-07-21T09:45:00.000-07:00

I love Sean's T-Shirt with the words
"Love is for Losers"
on it... haha

Yes i am having a bad day
I could sing a sad song and turn it around so that i can see happy faces looking at me
I wish i could
But i couldn't

My soul's wrenched and everything turns upside down
Every cells in my body struggles to free themselves from the thick fog inside me
The smoke of darkness crawl silent, cruely into every parts of my body
I'm weak... So weak to even defend it for myself

The sound of viol melts into my heart
Eventually all the notes spread out like thousand needles
Poking through my vains and vessels
Crushing my bones and devouring my flesh

The muse in me love play tricks to my brain
Magnifing every dust around me
Vomitting the poison into my brittle pea brain
Big waves were create by gentle breeze anyway

Dun turn your back on me
I need your smile to warm me
I need your hug to protect me from all the harm around me
I need you by my side

But...

I'm tired...
Tired of being a clown
Tired of putting a mask to face the world
And those people who meant hell lot to me
When everything i say falls to deaf ears

I hate the feeling of guilt
I hate the feeling of sorry
I beg for forgiveness and
Cleanse the sins i've created

I fear the feeling of lost
I fear to regret
To crush a future with my bare hands
To crush a heart i dun meant to hurt

I'm just extremely exhausted...
I wanna be free

I'm 20!! tra la la l ala...

2006-07-20T01:15:00.000-07:00

Well, i am officially a 20-bies now~
one more year to merdeka...kekekez

Just celebrated my b'day yesterday... it was the most present-received b'day... !!

I got a total of 26 sms, 8 received present and 1 pending one...

Hmm...
It might not be a lot to some of u but it means a lot to me...

And i actually got a lot of soft toys tis year >.<" man.. on my 20's

Hong Hong surprised me with a tortoise with a bunch of leaves on the head... damn cute!

Pei San, Carolyn and Terence bought me a teddy bear with a outrangeous big head and a pathetic little body.. haha~ i dun dare to hug it to sleep scare i might break his head...

All my hzmates thrown me a surprised party the night before my birthday... i was really touched that i actually dropped my tears, without anyone noticing it..They gave me a cow.. -_-"
with pink mouth and a bunch of hair on the head... it was quite hard i couldn't hug it to sleep..

My another hzmate, Terence Au gave me a tin of Mango cake from Hong Kong... absolutely love that packaging~!! it's so so adorable!! ^Q^

N the most incredible thing is my own PPG club members... they actually bought my presents when i am with them!! w/out me noticing it.. amazing!! haha... Su Mei n Cindira bought me a ''The Nightmare before Christmas'' holder for me.. i mean, i dunno what is that supposed to call... coffin?? uh.. it's for my recorder basically.. i wanted to buy it since last 2 sems... hmm... and also 4 pieces of assorted cake from Secret Recipe >.<'' eat till i wanna vomit... My aunt gave me a shirt from Anas-something.. i couldn't remember.. very special shirt where i need to tie it up to keep the wavy look on the shirt...

My cousin gave me a blue braclet... with hearts and diamonds... woooOOoo... it's gorgeous! ^o^

I got an Adidas bag pack from my BF ^-^ although is not really the color i wanted but still i love it :) hee~ but my mood went down drain when i saw him so sick... poor thing... sigh...
and i'm so sad i cant do anything to help him... :(
*sayang sayang my dear dear ^-^*

Last but not least, Sean spend me an awesome meal... hehe drool~
We went to Chilis for lunch tat day and eat till i dropped!i mean, we dropped... haha~
And also my anut who brought me for dinner in Tai Tong restaurant... althought the food is not really nice for me but i'm thankful for that wonderful night :)

Well, i will post up the pictures for my b'day... although only a bit but still.. it's funny... haha
And....

OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh My God!!!!
Oh My God!!!!
Oh My God!!!!
Oh My God!!!!
Oh My God!!!!
Oh My God!!!!
Oh My God!!!!
Oh My God!!!!
Oh My God!!!!
Oh My God!!!!
Oh My God!!!!
Oh My God!!!!

Well, check out tis fucking blog yourself-->

http://doubleprophecy.blogspot.com

Man, i'm so touched!!

This is the most meaningful present i got for tis year!!

I LOVE U BABOON SING YEE!!!!!!!!!!!!

Stupid bitch la u sing yee... Publish my pictures lidat~
Oh ya, dear u might wan to see it too... the sesat fellow got mention your name ter.. ahhaha

Wahahaha!! thank u thank u my dearest frenz!! muaks muaks!

AmZzZzz RoXxxX!!

Refugee: Images

2006-07-11T07:01:00.000-07:00

Hear ye hear ye~

This is the production i talked bout in my previous post...

It's a musical called Refugee: Images performed by The Canticle Singers...

Can see me not can see me not?!?! Ter Ter!!
I took this picture from www.kakiseni.com

This is the trailor for our musical which very soon will be shown in LRTs, and 7-11!

Notice the picture in the first slide... I'm in there!! with a sesat post... XD

This is the first musical production i am in... (except the UCSI recall...) N i am excited bout it!! But the rehearsal fucking killing sial...

I wonder.....

2006-07-06T09:15:00.000-07:00

I wonder what kinda cell builds me...
What holds me together...

I seems to have really freaking emotional problems...

Sometimes how i wish i'm alone...
I dunno y~
Just let me be cos i dun think that the world will understand me?

Hmmm...

I tends to let ppl decide my mood...
A sigh of yours would affect my mood for the whole day..
Tis really bothers me a lot~

I hate myself behaving this way seriously...
How marvelous it is if some kinda scientist would just invent some happy pills?

:)

Anywayz, I am totally crazy over Rod Steward...

Listen to his song really calms me down...

I was really down just now~

Sometimes love is really annoying...
I dunno how to handle my own feelings...

I am still learning...

Just dun ignore me...
That's good enough~

I wonder....

2006-07-06T00:41:00.000-07:00

It's such a long time i din really talk bout my life...

Mostly cos i am too bz and way too lazy to type it all out... thou the draft of the essay is in my head...

Well, as time goes by.. i started to understand quite a lot of things which some of them were planted in our mind since we were born.. We were too careless to notice it that's all..

Anywayz, been thru quite a lot this year, especially this semester...
I encounter new challenges, new friends and

Learning how to handle my emotions..

My cells under my skins are thirst for prominence...
Hmmm.. mayb is a bit too harsh...
Just need some reckonition...

I am so lack of patient to myself...

I remembered my aunt once told me bout metamorphosis...
Human being are extremely fragile...
There's one common thing in us is ...
"Keep repeating a same mistake, no matter small o big.. in the whole life, with or without noticing it... and normally nobody will take note to destroy that tiny dust which causes a fatal disease "

At first i tot this is bullshit... But as many things around evoled... i started to understand what this really means....

Personality... no, attitude is more suitable... is the hardest thing to handle in a popularity...
Human are build up with complex tissues and cells and hell knows what they are thinking bout?!

Well, people normally will not clique or mix with a person who is consider out of the band wave... However, giving judgement to a person u do not know at all is really unfair..
By all means took away the chance of knowing another soul...

The worst thing i'm noticed in my community is judge a person thru another person's eye...

However, what i found interesting lately is that...
People who seems to be hopelessly unrelated seems to launch a huge step nearer to me...

On the other hand, those who i thought to be an angel is actually an angel with hidden horns and a spiky tail...

The only thing to find a person's real identity is to know more bout them...
Good or bad...

Well, i guess that's life...
Challenge grows each day as time crawl passed us silently ...

Therefore,
In order to survived in this cruel world, choose to be a predator... not a prey...

Who knows one day u might be hunt by the person closes to u?

Tra la la la

2006-06-29T10:03:00.000-07:00

Yes!! finally get to change my ugly blog skin~

i know i know u ppl dun like this kinda setting but i really love this skin.. it resemble my feelings in the moment...

Anywayz,
Notice that there's a slideshow when u just log into my blog...??

Hee~ be patient and watch...

Only those who meant a lot to me will appear in that film...
(even u appear once u are important enough! ^-^)

Well... if u din see urself there... u know wat i mean :)

p/s: But i might miss someone out!! so pls knock my head if u think u shld be in ter but u din :P

Y do human cry?

2006-06-06T06:01:00.000-07:00

Alright.. today the topic i gonna talk bout is "Y people cry?" (Y people smoke?)

Ok..ignore the italic words...

I received a statement saying that only losers, n weak people cries...
N i was like, what's wrong with crying?! Seriously... there's no right o wrong in this thingy but i just wanna voice out my thinking n my un'song'ness~

Let's just tell u how tis "idiotic" conversation started...
A very dear fren of mine cried today... saying that there're too many things for her to handle n she was under stressed... I understand how she feels i really do~ n so i was talking bout her to a fren of mine and he was like, ''crying is useless! work hard n bla bla.." i cant remember... N he ended up telling me the action of crying are reserved for losers... maybe he din really meant it tat way.. but wat i understood from the way he explain to me... he makes me feel like he's not understanding... n conservative for sure!

Well, God gave us the ability to cry for various reasons.. i suppose.. well, as far as i concern, i know that crying makes ppl feel better after some incident, at least i do feel that way.. But if ppl who're trying to release their tension by dropping tears (and it's uncontrollable right?!) are defined as losers... this is so not fair~!
There're so many different ways to see a single thing... maybe on the surface u see someone crying u will feel that the fellow is weak n useless.. but u are not in that person's shoe~ u dunno exactly how they feel n wat they've been thru!

For example, u will feel sympathic for an orphan.. but do u know how they feel?
U wont~ cos u are not an orphan..
Even thou u were a student before... but different life n way of studies.. how can u understand!?
It's same goes to colour... Blue unnecessarily be just blue.. it can be light blue, dark blue o even darker blue right? So... everything have different espect... Therefore, crying shouldn't be defined as the act for losers! *Grrr....*

Thus, if crying makes u feel better, u'll have "mood" n more initiative to work out your things instead of forcing urself to work n work n work in the depress mood~

Good mood = high proficiency = good result

So y not allow urself to weep for a while to make urself feel better? don't u love yourself?

As for the ''real'' losers...
Yup, losers are those who cry day n night without finding ways to solve the problems.. for those who cry n give up.. that's losers!!
But those who cries because they really feel bad... it's really unfair to call them losers...!

Can u imagine seeing ur fren crying so hard n u stood there coldly with ur arms crossed over your chest, eyes narrowed and telling them they are losers?!

When ppl cry all they need is care n love n support...

I remember chinese ppl love saying "Guys can shed their blood, but not their tears"
Personally i think this is bullshit...
Y izzit suppose to be that way? to show that u are stronger? That u are better than anyone else and u dun need someone to be there for u cos u can handle things urself?

Well, u are welcome to live in a world of ur own... but count me out~

Reason y i am so frustrated over this stupid topic which ppl dun give a fuck about is cos the person i concern the most started this... Which really gets on my nerves! It sounds as if he is so not understanding n will definately wont give a shit even if i break down.... N now he refuses to reply my sms... Well, i dun understand y everytime we argue for unworthless things?!!?
Fine! Dun worry i wont look for u when i cry cos u wont give a damn bout it!!!!!!!!
Gosh... Sigh~
(N this is non of a "fantasy" like what u said, i am having.. these are just facts... take it or leave it)

*Sob Sob* T.T all i need is love..... T.T

p/s: Do u know u need 56 face musles to make a grumpy face but 13 face muscles to make a happy face :) Therefore, nobody will love grumpy face cos it makes the face tired...
(I'm not sure the figure is correct cos i read this article long time ago.. if i made a mistake.. pls do correct me :) )
If u (u know who u are) happened to read this... dun think that i overacegerate, overreacting n thinked too much..probably... cos u really made me feel this way... and the feeling is really horrible.. :(

^-^

2006-06-01T09:52:00.000-07:00

Just now my deareast called...

He asked me whether i am happy joining the production..

Yes.

I answered w/out hesitation...
He was worried bout me falling apart because i joined too many activities...

It was really sweet :)
Anyhow.. Undeniable that joining "The Canticle Singers" is not an easy task....

We're required to dance n sing n act... well.. Thou i am not in the acting and.. uh, for ur information.. i am just playing tinny tiny little unimportant roles in this Musical..
OK, it's just like in a movie, u see ppl walking around in the market, people who are the neighbours of the important roles and ppl who walk around in the scene like gone case fellow...

Yup, i am one of those ppl..

The reason i am playing such pathetique role it's cos i join them in the last minute.. so.. anywayz.. ahha~ i'm not well-known anywayzz...

Still i am glad to be in.. I somehow have the feeling tat i am using my energy to gain some knownledge... Everytime after rehearsal my body ache like hell... N i dun feel well cos i actually lack of time doing my school work.. and therefore i need to sacrifice my resting time to do my work.. and tis is how i get my eye bags, dark circle n big tummy (almost everytime after rehearsel i will have supper... damn!)

But i felt everything was worth it.. The process of learning is never easy... the tougher it is the more i will gain.. (i guess?)

Well, and Mr. Chong was nice to me (thou his scary big eyes always stared at me whenever we start doing our scenes...)

Hmmm..

I am glad that Su Mei starts to laugh like a donkey these few days.. normally i am the one who's palying her role talking there syok sendiri while she staring at me with three strips beside her forehead.. haha! Today i was half dead.. so half of the time she was talking n laughing herself dunno for wat... n also the stupid BAM thingy.. -_-" really dunno wat to say... N she starts hugging ppl around... gosh~ ahhahaa~ but it's a good sign thou!! glad to see u happy again.. (ehem... thanks to me >.< *grin*) hahaha

Wa... hope i can sleep for 20 hours...

But still have work to do.. wonder y i still blog?

I dunno.

Inspired...

2006-05-30T10:58:00.000-07:00

Well... lately the Muse came to visit me quite a few times...

Guess because the part of the complaining department in my brain cells strats to arose from the silent grave of its home sweet home again...

I will write like how i write few years ago...

Was talking to Su Mei.. and suddenly realize how fragile one life can be...

N the mind tricking stuff... haha...

Oh well.. i think i shld stop here if not i will continue writting till morning...
The Muse is here again...

Man...

Goodnight world~

Do Re Mi Fa Sol...

2006-05-15T07:32:00.000-07:00

L-O-V-E is such a trouble-maker.

Unfortunately i start to feeling that.

sigh sigh sigh + triple sigh

Finally a happy post! :)

2006-05-11T10:14:00.000-07:00

Today was so...

Adventurous.

Well,
I'm feeling...

Glad + nervous + psychotic + tired + happy + Contented

First of all,

I went for the audition for UCSI's Annual Concert the other day..
I was so so depressed that i tot i wont be getting any parts for the musical..
(N i will be left out from my PPG gang cos for sure Su Mei n Cindira will gets in one of the parts....)
This is because...

Sigh...

One of the teachers stopped me when i am reaching the ''climax'' of the song...

-_-"

But in the end i turned out to be in the chorus for the ''Cafeteria" scene!
Actually it's not something to be proud of really..

But i am just glad that i somehow involve in one of the scenes...
(Even one also i syok... have to start things slow...)

Then,
I went to MidValley with Su Mei to get something for Cindira..
(Her bday passed so so long ago n we still haven got her anything.. damn fail la this kinda fren.. haha)

N Su Mei suddenly told me that the Musical that she's invloving in ''outside'' the school is probably needing another soprano singer..

I was delighted really!

I think she knows how keen i am to join the musical...
N i tried many times asking Su Mei whether i can go for audition n stuff...

Well...
Mr. Chong (the producer) auditioned me...
(Obviously i sing till my face turned blue! really.. and i think it's cos of the milk tea i drank...)
N he take me in as a probation...
Cos they've been practicing since like... march? N now only i joined in..
So.. he must let me try out n see whether i can follow up~..

Anyhow, i am glad to be in even though i am just a probation member!

I will work hard!!!

N thanks Su Mei n Cindira for supporting me ^-^

Love u guys so so much!!

I will work harder n harder!!

This is the first time i feel contented....

For the chance that He gave me..

Thanks God.. U're cool :p

Funny mail..

2006-05-06T20:33:00.000-07:00

A friend of mine sent this email to me...

And i find it quite interesting... ^-^

SiGh...unsatis again?

Again...output differ from input~~

Experiment3:The study of huikee sp. to produce chlorophyll-A,but not chlorophyll B or C.

The results were differ greatly from the theoretically result. It might to due experimental errorsSs such as erhm...such as...the specimen was contaminated by some unknown bacteria which indirectly causes the denaturing of the specimen. As such, the output was lowered due to the irreversible denaturing which lead to partial malfunction of the specimen.

Suggestion for future experiment is that to kill the contaminant bacteria with alcohol~~(haha drink more beer will do). Another suggestion is that to mutate the huikee sp. itself by ultrasonic wave(explore urself to more music i guess) plus UV light (maybe is some1 who light u up) so that it can produce muSicoPianOase (a type of highly effective enzyme) that can kill the contaminant bacteria itself and hence produce chlorophyll A instead of chlorophyll B or C like what happened in this experiment.

Therefore, no need to be so unsatisfied if you don't get what you expected, the important things is that you have carried out the experiment get the result, more importantly you learn what wrongs with you experiment (if you don't know, find it!).

Ok-finished my crapping haha :p. Anyway, hope u be happy always.

Aih.... Science student -_-"

I'm so disappointed...

2006-05-02T09:27:00.000-07:00

I felt as if my heart crushed...

I got my results...

I got 1A, 6B n a C...

As u can tell...

I'm super unsatisfied with my result...

Honestly i felt happy cos i tot i worked hard and enough to get at least a few A's...

But things din work out tat way...

I had my own dreams.... I've things i wanted to achieve.... N i tot i'm sort stepping a TINY step out to reaching my target...

But somehow it falls bek to my our shell...

I dunno wat's wrong seriously....
Even my partner couldn't belief we got this kinda result...

Sigh....

Like i said before...

Words after failure are useless n worthles...

So...

I gonna shut myself up n do things i shld do ....

I wont fail myself again this time........

But i really feel like crying...

N i need hugzzz.......
Lots of them.....

T.T

It was harder... so much harder than i tot...

How i wish i am half Su Mei...

T.T

:: Fantasie Prom @ Sunway Hotel ::

2006-04-20T06:45:00.000-07:00

Hey baboon.. sorry for the waiting.. hehe

Here's my prom's pic!!

Lai lai lai .... *drool*

Ok.. first i'll show pictures of everyone!!
Yer!! Jerry hamsap!! notice the hand not very far away from Cindira~
Yer yer~!! WHAT is he pointing??!!??! heheh... *drool*

Before going prom....

In room.. just finish make-up
Carolyn - my make-up artist!!
Hee... sampat su mei..
Uh...i forget her name.. but she's the owner of this room!Look at my hair!! I did that for RM30 only! so happy~ ^-^Actually i planned to wear this for prom...
I think i look cute too >.< * hahaa

Outside waiting for transport...
Me n Jerry...
He damn sesat!! wearing custom make top + track bottom + sport shoe?!
-_-"Yer.. Carolyn fat Qiao!! hahaha..
She's so W-I-L-D tat day!!
Then we ki siao ourself
In the ball room!

Notice i am not in d picture?
Yup.. me holding camera..
Cos no nice legs to show... T.T

Pictures with all the monkies~! *cheers >.<* 1st monkey: Cindira
PPG member: Blowsome
2nd monkey: Su Mei the ba bai jie.. (U know la.. our relationship! haha)
PPG member: Buttermug
(Added Junie)3th monkey: Carolyn 4th monkey: Calvin (pronouns as: Kao-Vin, not kelvin ya*)
5th monkey: Cathy
6th monkey: Kun Kuen7th monkey: Eddie

8th monkey: Ting HieLast monkey: Les Miserables!
hehe..

**I spotted a lot of funny picutres...**
(Funny expression i guess)
See Caleb's face? haha..
How the hell he made this expression?!?!!

Guys... -_-"

Hey!!
Notice these 3 pics...
Did Cindira stood there for 1 hour or the one who's taking the picture stood there for 1 hour?
But what amazed me was the expression.. she neva changed it... Not even the expression... Gesture too!! O_O:

Carolyn sesat!
haha..

Oh ya, there's something i wanted to tell u guys..

I had my Taylor's SAM prom night in 2004...

Same Place...

N same dress i am wearing too..

N my dear fren Baboon claim that i look nicer two years ago..

Well, Judge it yourself..

(I totally hate my Taylor's Prom pic.. i look so damn fuckin ugly!!)

2 years ago...

Two years later...Do u think these...
will be nicer than...

This?

What do u think? >.<*

(Man... this is the first time i show my Taylor's picture in public -_-")

BUt...

Hee
This is what i ate in Taylor's prom...

Hee... drooling~

I guesst his is the difference btw 75 bucks and 90 bucks... ^^

Dun think classical students are sweet...

2006-04-19T09:09:00.000-07:00

U think classical students are elegant, sweet, gentle and such...??

See this..

I spotted this in one of the rooms in 120..

I wonder who did this...

Man, dun play play with music students...

They're violent....

wakakka, i am super hornie~!

2006-04-13T19:48:00.001-07:00

Well, i came across this website, http://www.quizuniverse.com which let hamsap ppl (like me) to know what's their sexual nickname ~_~ drool...

So, i type in Les Miserables.... n guess what?!

I'm a pussycat doll~
Hmm.. too girlish and pink..

So i decided to put my REAL name...

As a result,

Hui Kee's sexual nickname:

"Pornstar Butt"

Take this quiz at QuizUniverse.com

Hahhaa!!!
Tan Hui Kee a.k.a Pornstar Butt?!!!??!
WTF?!

Wakakakakkaka... y cant the butt just leave me alone? iskh~

Until i put my bF's name...

Jay Chia's sexual nickname:

"Bum Tickler"

Take this quiz at QuizUniverse.com

Oh God.. the Butt just wont leave me alone.. -_-"

Awww....

2006-04-13T05:43:00.000-07:00

I need my blankie
I need my ''under-the-window'' bed
I need my pink piggie
I need my ''go-to-school'' teddy bear
I need my mum's home cooked food
I need my sister whisperings
I need my mum's mee sua
I need my mum's kissing
I need my mum's love and care

Most of all,
I need my dearest's hugzZz..

Cant believe that i am so sick T.T

I dun wanna be so sick... and i have to attend my history listening exam with my half deaf ears...

I need lots of lots of huzzzzzzzz...

*Sniff sniff*

I hereby launch my complaints.. again..

2006-03-27T04:34:00.000-08:00

U can choose not to read this seriously...

But i just wanna let those frens who are not near to me knows how's my life recently..

N i bet u already can guessed how it went.. (read the title?)

Anywayz, my 2nd recital was a failure too.. thou i did a bit better than the first but still it sucks like hell.. n i kinda let Su Mei and other frens down.. They supported me .. a lot..

N i was so touched to hear Su Mei whispered this to me before i went up to stage
"U dim wan! dun worry.."

Yup, she saw me practice..

Well, i guess this is the most challenging thing in musicians (thou i'm still not a recognized wan..)
No matter how hard u tried, o practiced o do watever thing to make sure your performance went ntg wrong..

But all ppl see is the moment u perform.. so.. They definately wont understand...
Even thou they feel that u played good...
U still cant passed yourself...

Niwayz, just suddenly feel lost .. totally lost after my recital...

Suddenly felt that i am good at ntg..
I pushed myself so hard to make things perfect... But things just seem to be getting worst and worst... N, i wanna to be strong n do my work all over again so that my result will be satisfying but things just dun work out...
N i'm tired.. physically and mentally...

Am i just stupid or i really din work hard enough?!

Y do i seem to be complaining most of the time while others dun seem to have a problem.....

Sigh sigh sigh........

i really hate my recent life...
So damn fucking much....

Every arteries in my body, every muscles and cells in my brain are wrenched...

Sometimes i just hate to force myself to be strong......

I am used to be pampered by someone last time...
N i really really need time to adjust myself to be independant...

And to remind myself i am not in the previous situation anymore...

I need to grow up...

N growing up is a tiring process....

But still,
I prefer being pampared...
Really.... :'(

I'm ready.. depression, I'm ready.. depression...

2006-03-21T07:24:00.000-08:00

I just saw Baboon's latest post and i think it's something similar to what i am going to say...

Seriously i also dunno wat's wrong with me too Baboon, something's just not right but i just dunno what is wrong... and ya, stupid depression just fuck off..

I hate being depressed... it's not fun at all..

But strangely today i feel kinda high... unlike the past few weeks... People say i look like a life dead person..(or izit dead life person? -_-" anywayz.... u know what i mean..)

N i love classical music more and more nowadays...
I've learnt how to appreciate it for some reason.... Hmmm..
Maybe cos of Loo?

I am not sure...

But i am happy that i strated to love something i once dun feel like getting close to it..

Niwayz, just to inform u ppl that i found a room~! I mean, i rent a room outside la,
No longer staying in hostel next sem ^-^

But my room is kinda like... uh... artificial thou...
N the TV is right in front of my door... Man, i hope my hzmates are not football fans

Oh ya, came across this article tis afternoon...

When You're in a Bad Mood, Eat THIS
When you're in a bad mood or just feeling blue, eat fish. It turns out that omega-3 fatty acids have more of an influence on mood, personality and behavior than ever before realized.

Researchers from the University of Pittsburgh Medical Center say they have discovered that omega-3 fatty acids, found in abundance in salmon, mackerel, lake trout, herring, sardines and albacore tuna, influence impulsivity, personality and how people feel.

The study: Led by Dr. Sarah Conklin, the team analyzed levels of omega-3 fatty acids in the blood of 106 healthy volunteers and then compared that data to the participants' scores on three accepted tests for depression, impulsiveness and personality. The volunteers made no changes to their diets during the study period.

The results: Those with lower blood levels of omega-3 polyunsaturated fatty acids were more likely to report mild or moderate symptoms of depression, a more negative outlook and be more impulsive, while those with higher blood levels of omega-3s were found to be more agreeable.

Previous research has connected low levels of omega-3 to clinically significant conditions such as major depressive disorder, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, substance abuse and attention deficit disorder. This latest study is the first to show that these relationships also occur in healthy adults.

The study findings were presented at the Annual Scientific Meeting of the American Psychosomatic Society in Denver.

Salmon salmon here i come!! *drool* ...

Interesting article!

2006-03-20T06:30:00.000-08:00

Ban The Piano! A 21st-Century Composition Manifesto

Story by Byron Au Yong. I thought this might be an interesting article for my music frens as all of us are pianist... Hee... it's a bit long la but i hope u'll enjoy..

The piano was my first love. I would play for hours, alternating between the black and white keys. Swaying on the bench, I found myself in 17th-century Leipzig with Bach, 18th-century Salzburg with Mozart, and 19th-century Warsaw with Chopin. With these masters, I traveled through time to exotic European cities, but I was really alone and alone I was controlled.

My first love led to my disintegration. I played and played, visiting homes where the piano had become a table for overgrown plants. I played and played and found myself a bit too intimate with a parlor instrument at three o'clock in the morning. I played and played until certain keys stuck and the notes stopped sounding. I had fallen in love with an antiquated machine; an old-fashioned coffin that I desperately tried to warm with the soft fur of music. I was no longer integral to society. I had become engaged in necrophilia with an inanimate relic.

As an instrument of class, the piano signifies dominance. This is symbolized on the keyboard by ebony-black keys that are separate and hover tentatively behind ivory-white keys, which side-by-side form a phalanx. When the piano was in its infancy, the keys were various color combinations, but now the black keys are always a pentatonic scale. "I'm playing Chinese!" I used to exclaim as an eight-year-old, running my fingers along the black keys. The momentary look of horror on my mom's face receded when the potential benefit of having a classical musician for a son began to outweigh the cartoonish distillation of Chinese music into five pitches. For hours, I commanded the interaction of those keys, as other boys command toy soldiers. In the process, I became a brainwashed despot sitting by myself in a practice room in a hall filled with practice rooms of other musicians sitting by themselves.

When he was 8...

Glenn Gould tried to escape by humming beyond the regulated pitches. Stockhausen held the damper pedal down until the overtone-clouded harmonies provided a momentary release. John Cage threw screws and bolts into the guts of the beast. George Maciunas had Nam June Paik hammer nails into every key of the piano until the instrument was destroyed. Sonic Youth revived the Maciunas Piano Piece #13, in 1999, to no avail. The shiny-black-trophy-hearse piano lives on in the concert hall heart of every music school.

For composers, the piano is deadly. Music is about voices within bodies that sing about the human condition. The piano has taken vocalists away from learning how to sing within an oral tradition. The piano has taken bodies and forced them to sit. The piano has taken its role as a tool of music and become a tool for dictators. For music to regain its agency and creativity, composers must unchain themselves from the piano and reintegrate the two primary building blocks of composing music: drum and voice.

Drumming energizes the body from the outside with hands or feet that produce percussive beats that propel dramatic action. Singing arises from the inside of the body and soars towards the heavens. Together, drumming and vocalizing contain seeds that when thrown into cultural cracks grow into the intertwining narratives of music.

While the piano can play a melody over a rhythmic pattern, the results fall into gestures that are constrained by tuning and history. The initial impulse to compose must come from the infinite complexities of drumming and vocalizing rather than from the limited mechanics of the piano. Later, piano may be added as an instrument of the music, but never before—otherwise the music becomes an instrument of the piano.

It is easy to begin a new work by sitting at a keyboard and playing and playing and playing. While this machine easily produces sound, beware; once it dictates the works being created, then the essence and potential of imagination in musical storytelling is lost. As an artist who lives on the edges, I will always reify the piano, but as a composer I realize that drumming and vocalizing are the essential tools of my craft.

Hmm... so, what do u think? Is piano that scary??

Just kill me...

2006-03-15T08:55:00.000-08:00

Cant believe i gonna finish my 3rd sem in UCSI soon...

Niwayz,

I got some feedbacks from my fellow frens...

Sexy Sean claims that he likes me more when i was in first SEM, I laugh like monkey all the time;
Chuan Li told me he likes me better when i was very annoying, talking n laughing very loud non stop like a gone case woman;
Caleb, Qi Yu n some ppl who i forgot the names asked me what happened to me lately...

Well, i wish i know too...

I lost the perfect complexion i used to have, i lost the attitude i used to have, i lost the aura i used to have, i lost my confident in doing things i'm usually capable at...

Sigh...

The most important thing is i miss my laugh...

I cant remember when was the last time i laugh my heart out...

Sometimes i just need someone to talk to...
But i everytime i'll be ended up feeling even worst..

On the other hand, it's troublesome to talk to someone...
Cos everyone's busy out of the hell at this moment...

I dun wanna be a burdent for another party....

So i decided to blog...

Blogging is still the best way for me to release my tension...

At least blogging wont kena scolded or making another party feel uncomfortable..

N i agree with Su Mei's nick on MSN asking ppl to kill her...

Ya,
Just pull the trigger when the mouth of the gun is facing my heart....
Not the face pls..

Words from heart...

2006-03-15T08:39:00.000-08:00

FH IHD HR A MALD H'KK BQAES HM LX GDAQS....

T'KK MDUA JMNV GNV LTBG H LDAMS VGDM H RAX

"H KNUD XNT"

H JMNV SAS H RSHKK GAU CNTAS RNLDGNV, RNLDSHLDR,
ATS H GNOD VD BAM VNDJ SGNRD NTS....

"H MDDC XNT AX LX RHCD"

This is for Jay....

Clue: the number comes after 7 is 8...

ATTENTION!!! Vote for my picture!!

2006-03-08T06:35:00.000-08:00

UCSI fellows!!!

Please log onto http://msgboard.i-t-s-a.net n search for
"Vote for the funniest picture"

PLEASE vote for picture no. 110 !!!

My I.D. is 1000411513

Go vote me ya!!

Thanks!

Just to share tis...

2006-03-08T05:09:00.000-08:00

Hehehe... finally posted something with pictures...

My bf sent this to my email n i tot it's quite cute n sweet i decided to post it here
(Wasted so much time doing tis -_-:)

Dun worry, i'll translate for the sake of my ''banana'' frens...

Every guy will have gf.. Including me..

But my gf is more ''geng cao'' than other gals!

Every morning i've to wake up at 7 to prepare breakfast for her.

After breakfast i've to send her to work.

N somore i am forced to recite a love poem for her in front of public.
"Shall i compare thee with a summre's day,
Thou art more lovely n bad tempered.."
hehehe.

Sometimes i still need to run after the bus for 15 min.

Then only i pack my stuff n go to work.

Now u know how ''ba bai'' n sassy my gf is already la?!
"Am i a useless guy?!
No! I'm a real man!"

Everytime i've to stand up n chase those mad dogs away..

I'm a decent guy.. so that means i wont lay my eyes on other gals for more than 3 min..
Including grannies... yer..

Uh.. this one not important...

Why do i have such a gf?!
Other guys' gf treat them like kittens...
MIne is a tigress... -_-"

My buddies asked me the same ques for dozens of time but i lazy wanna layan them.

This wan also not importnat :p

So is this..

Every9 i've to report what i ate for the whole day..

My hp must be on 24 hours

I've to put down my work n rush for her immediately if she's facing a pro.

No matter is raining o snowing..

I've to use the mose romantic way to fecth her back from work..
sohai..~

Other than doing chores,

I've to company her watch rubbish movies (Like DOOM)

When she cry, i cry harder

When she laugh i shiver.

At night i've to sing to put her to bed..

Everyday i must take care of her with extra care n i think normal ppl cannot take this kinda life...
But i already used to it..

Y cook breakfast for her?
Cos she lazy...

Y wanna fight with dogs?
Cos i wanna show her i am brave..

Y not allow to look at other gals?
B'cause i dun allow her to see other guys so i must do the same too..

Y must i report wat i ate?
Cos she kepo...

Y must on my hp 24 hours?
Cos she misses me more than i miss her...

Wa.. i lazy wanna translate d...

Go learn Chinese la!

-_-ZzzZzz..

Bla bla lba....

As a conclusion,
I'll still continue to love her, care for her, protect her..

Without any reason..

Because love is not single sided...

Actually,personally i like this mail... But i dun think this kinda guy still exist... unless his DNA is mutated.. hahaha... hmmm....

What i know is... treasure the person u've beside u...
Dun regret when u lost that person... it's too late....

Eh-hem

2006-03-06T05:55:00.000-08:00

I've an announcement to made....

Due to the horrible, terrible n unsatisfying playing of mine in today's recital...
I'm asked to be performed again in 27th of March. Hope that u all can support me again :'(

What an awful day i had today... :(

p/s: Thanks Su Mei, Qi Yu, Sean and.. oh ya, and Davina...
Thanks Su Mei n Qi Yu n Sean for corcern bout me n support me :) highly appreciated...
About Davina... i am just happened to be there when she's practicing voice with Jerry n gang.. n i got entertained.. accidentally.. hee

Oh ya, not forgetting my bf for telling me that God love me a lot, n i shld love him as much too? uh.. anyway, i am confused -_-

As a conclusion..
hope that i can pass n not to disappoint myself again.. sigh~ if Loo is there i think he'll sure go up stage n hit me till i unconcious... seriously..

Series of UNCOMFORTABLE events

2006-03-05T00:06:00.000-08:00

I'm so bloody pissed. My room's so bloody hot. My bloody handphone din make any noise since this morning. I am bloody alone in room since yesterday talking to my Music History book with Mozart n Vivaldi all over the place. I am bloody tired cos of sleeping late. I am bloody pissed that SOME ppl din reply my sms. I am bloody fucked up because my computer is not working n i have to go n borrow a comp. I am bloody pissed tat my mum angry without specific reasons. I am pissed that I din turned out to be talking to the right person i wish to talk on phone in the middle of the night. I am so so bloody pissed. Yes i am pissed. Very very pissed indeed.

Something really sweet ^-^

2006-03-04T00:50:00.000-08:00

Jay gave me this..... ^-^

-_- zZz

2006-02-27T07:31:00.000-08:00

I think the most important thing between friends is

SINCERITY.

I hate having frens who are not being sincere to the other party. I really hate that.
I treat those around me, especially those very close to my side, very truely, sincerely n with all my heart.

And yes, i wish to have it in return.

Thank you.

Dun take me for granted just because i do silly things n crack stupid jokes.
I'm not blind.

Woah !! O_O

2006-02-21T07:10:00.000-08:00

Here's a post i copied from a friend of mine...
(Hope he wont mind)

Personally i find this very meaningful...
(N i neva know that he is actually REALLY that sentimental... hahaha)

What is love? i'd been thinking about this for sometime.. but i never get the answer. love might not be the most important thing in life but.. for me it is.. ^^.. maybe im a bit sentimental type.. haha.. i hate those love movies with sad ending.. but love watching them.. coz i guess dat the reality... no love story with happy-ever-after ending.. have u ever wonder the person next to u know is really the person u are in love with? ppl tends to adapt or i should say compromise just to get rid of their loneliness.. humen are selfish.. dat's why love is no longer important anymore i guess..... dat's one quote from the movie 'forget about me, the person dat love u the most... is urself' dat's sooo true... sigh...

What?
hehe... i am dangerous... i know, i will go around hunting for stuff to post in my blog...
So, beware of what u post...

It might be appearing here u see... hehhe :p

:/

2006-02-20T08:11:00.000-08:00

Hee... spent one n a half hours to repair my blog....

Damn i'm wasting my life here....

These few days been in really... and i mean REALLY down mood........

Aparently, i'm having upset stomach, restless nights, depressed mood n decrease in food intake....

If these are some symptoms of any kind of diseases....

Please be kind enough to inform me~

Sigh.........

Dunno what's wrong with me lately seriously....

Cant seem to have any interest in doing anything n feeling lonely all the time....

Sigh sigh sigh sigh..........

Getting old i guesss......

Or am i tired of TRYING to be perfect all the time?

Someone told me that my aura (dun exactly know how to spell) changed...

Well, it depends on what kind of people u mix with........

I'm just tired......

I miss my family....... I miss them so damn much lately.........
Thirst for their love.........

T.T

..............................I wanna go home.................................

Fuck!!!

2006-02-19T01:31:00.000-08:00

Ok.. wondering what's wrong with my blog or shall u say my brain that i actually put a sunflower as my layout?

Guess what? this is a disaster.....

I lost everything in my blog...

I mean... i lost my hugs n my chatter box n my counter...

Even my spongebob's cartoon!! shit damn it~

I dunno what is wrong with my blog that hald of the content in the template gone~

Deleted......

Man...

I am so depresseed. -_-

Oh Well....

2006-02-15T00:22:00.000-08:00

Alright...

I gonna fail my Aural II mid term...

I sort of improvise n change the rhythm to my own... In the test..

While i sigh my head off, i turned to look at Su Mei when the paper is being passed up...
I was shock to see her stunned expression...

Even the mighty Su Mei also agree that the exam was way too hard...

N i kinda relieved to see everyone complaining bout how they cant get the rhythm and the melody n stuff...

But i know they sure get high marks... i just wanna hear complaints to let myself feel better... At least i am not the only one who feel the tense... :p

Quite a lot of things happened in this week...

1st, I am officially declared to be a PMS disease holder
2nd, I freaked out n throw everything i had in my stomach
3rd, Had the most embarassing weekend
4th, Emotionally unstable

Well,

The main problem is the Mid Term exam...

It's been a while i had the feeling of exam trauma... I think i kinda pushed myself too hard...
I dun wana let my mum down...

But at least i had more than 2 enjoyable Piano lesson with Loo ^-^ At least i kinda get what he expected from me.... Keep it up ... yea~

On the other hand ...

Lots of people wondering bout my Valentine's day...

Hmmm... Yea, LC was right~

I am a girl destined not to have the 1st Valentine in every new relationship..
Haha..

But i'm okay with it...

Serious~

I wont let myself be so down like the way i felt 2 years ago...
It's a reatard to feel down over this matter....

If u're with the right person...
Everyday will be Valentine's day :)

p/s: I'm not giving myself consule..... -_-"

*Highlight: I bought a Quicksilver shirt for him.. >_~*
As long as i can remember, this is the first time i spend big amount of money so happily ^-^

I dun care bout pressies in return... I am happy to see how glad he is when he got his present :]
yup...

*Reminder: LC, u still owes me something...........

I'm a fortunate girl ^-^

2006-02-10T06:49:00.000-08:00

I miss my family.....

Especially my mum.......

LOVE her so much!!!

Muackss! :p

Hmmm...

2006-02-07T08:39:00.000-08:00

Well, finally finish my work n scrolled some of my fren's blog...

Baboon's was the first stop....

Actually i kinda admire the way she write her blog... feels very... light~ damn, i dun quite know how to describe.... But fuck n bitch are all over the place -_-"

Then, i read Pek Mei's blog... Only i realize her bf's not in Malaysia now~
I dunno what to say....
But...

Gurl... be strong~

N i am glad that my darling is sleeping peacefully somewhere in Malaysia.....
Uh... i dun think it's peaceful at all... His snoring is worst than those Muslim's shouting when they sembahyang.... -_-"

Heee... cheers*

Toilet's calling me~ gtg!

Let me survive in this cruel world....

2006-02-06T06:39:00.001-08:00

Man.. i cant believe tat i just erase all the things i wrote just now~

I hate Aural II's homework... it's really giving me a hard time... T.T

Blog is a very noble thing which i can post whatever i like here..........
Indirectly this will make me feel much much better after i wrote everthing here......
N i dun care whether anyone reads it............
I just wanna feel better.........
N i notice actually there're lots of ''silence'' readers here....

Hmm....

Well, gonna write like the way i wrote 9 months ago....

Ok, here goes.......

Apparently, i miss my darling so so very much.........................................................
As long as i can remember.....

I never miss him so much like the way i miss him tonight.............

i really really need hugs from him...................................
Lots of them...........

but he's sleeping now....................... i guess...........

Just saw his blog..... very old post writting bout his ex-gf............ it kinda hurts when i read that...... izzit because i can feel how my ex feel?? Or i can feel how my dearest feel when he wrote that blog...??

Man... what have i done......??

But too bad i really cant continue to be my ex's partner..............
Although sometimes i do miss the way he brushes my hair.......
But... fate brought me to another person....

People says Taurus is the best horoscope to be considered as hunsband while Gemini just seem to have too much love to spread... for other people....

Well, what do u know?
i left a Taurus n went for a Gemini...................
As i was saying, humans are unpredictable~

But honestly i do love my BF.......... current BF......... very much .......(although there're still doubt btw us... but i do love him a lot....seriously....) I know it's a short time we be together.... But i dun think love shld be measured using period... (time, for goodness sake -_-")
*But i really hate to know that he's drinking or smoking... i HATE IT*

I know it's a retard for saying this but i really feel that i am the most lucky girl in the world to have him as my BF...
Although he never voice out his feelings to me...... N i think for some time i do mind him doing (what for hiding up all the feelings? there's someone there to care for u...) that but i believe tat he will tell me whatever i need to know when he feel like telling me... no point pushing him doing something he dun willing to...

Sincerely i hope that he's not the devil that i feared of..........
i dun wanna be hurt by the one i love....... trust me, i know how it feels.............

But anywayz, i wont treat him like the way i treat my ex..... Guys tend to take things for granted... when girls treat them good they'll thought that they'll have her forever.... but they never know there's a limit of treating someone u love real nice... until u lose her...

But doesn't mean that i will treat him bad of course....................
Giving him more love than my last relationship for sure n...
Love in a smarter way..........

Meanwhile.....

my mum just called me n my tears drop down.............. damn............. i dun wanna feel tis way............. i dun wanna see myself crying... i haven been crying for so long please dun let me remember the way i look when i cry.......................
I miss her a lot too......... I've done too much damage on her.............

everytime when things happened to me i asked myself to be strong....STOP depending on ppl around me... dun depend on the person who i love n the person who love me because this will make them feel uncomfortable n yet my problem is not solve.... N i scared i will lose the person who are really important to me..........

But i fail to be the strong gal i looked into my eyes..............

N i end up breaking down my own nerves....

God please show me the path i need to walk.............................

I cant continue to smile n shine for ppl around me if i still cant passed my own test............

I am sorry for everything i've done......................... T.T
I really tried my best....................

*poof! i feel better now already ^-^ Study music is not as fun as everyone else thinks........ seriously*

Baboon's return! (1)

2006-01-24T08:03:00.000-08:00

Hmm... finally knows what's wrong with my explorer which makes me unable to post up pictures...

Yupz!

Read the title above~

My dear fren Sin Yee baboon returned to Malaysia...

Haven seen her for 1 whole year i guess?

Hmm... finally knows what's wrong with my explorer which makes me unable to post up pictures...

See? this is Baboon darlingz...........

We went to have some drinks in Coffee Bean at Bukit Bintang...

As usual...

Must take stupid pictures!

Oh ya... we called Pek Mei up to join us too!!

What?!

Think we've overdone our face?

Wait till u see tis~~>>

See?!!
Goodness....
Malu wanna tell u who he is.....

-_-"

We're still normal..... See?

Walao!!!!!

After i slap him...

Ya.. that's better... :p
Heee....

Then...

On our way to McD...
Ki siao in the middle of the road...
Hee...
I wonder y i do that idiot pose...

Anywayz,

saw something shocking in front of McD!!

Notice the ''thingy'' we trying to point...

There're actually two MALE hugging each other and lying on the floor..

-_-"

Been seeing too many weird guys lately..

To be continued........

I'm turning bek to an ugly duckling.... :(

2006-01-24T02:06:00.000-08:00

Finally post something without picture...

I wonder y i will write this thingy at this moment...

Anywayz, so many things happened this week...

But the most unusual thing happened is... I am having this terrible headache lately...
Not really headache...

It'z something like.. as if there's an electric eel swimming inside my brain electricuting my brain from time to time...

Really unbearable~

N i can hardly sleep lately~
I tried so hard to sleep but brain just keep on thinking bout so many many stuff~

Man..am i going to have depression soon?
God no please.....

Na, i dun think so....

Well... speaking of weird..

I dunn what the fucking idiot pea brain i had~
I actually missed my Aural class today!

I neva miss any class before in my entire life!
N i walked into the class and everyone stares at me~
Su Mei laugh till can breathe -_-" Asking me y i so blur....

Damn~ what is wrong with me?!?!?

I'm actually practicing piano when i had class!?

Man~

Been putting lots of pressure to myself...

Sigh~

N i go to my Major class without any emotional preparation...

BUT!!

Loo praised me today!! ^-^

*Three cheers n one hug for myself*

All the hard work i had for the past whole week had been paid off!!

Yes...
i think i understand more bout the situation i had with me n my pieces n my piano teacher

(:

However, sometimes i dun understand myself...

I love to do things which torture my body n soul...

I like to read something i am not suppose to read..
Man... it's hard for me to write out my real feelings in this blog...
(I think i have to open another blog for my gFs... cos some issues are not suitable for GUYS..)

Anywayz, i am not going to talk bout that since i am not in a very suitable situation....

Hmmm....

But still.. i will continue what i am doing~

As long as my gfs are around me to be by my side...

* I hope n i pray~

Everything will be fine~

Hmmm..........

Plz love me for who i am T.T

Carolyn's birthday!!

2006-01-22T20:03:00.000-08:00

Sorry for the late post...

We celebrated Carolyn's 19th birthday in RUSH tat day!

(Uh... am i allow to write the age? :p)

Girls just have to make up...
I waited more than half an hour for them to make up..

-_-"

Oh ya.. this sesat gurl cant join us for the party tat day...
Cos she's stupid enough n go inform d parents she wanna go clubbing..
.
So, she ends up playing computer in hostel tat day..

Advice for teenage: NEVER.. i mean NEVER tell parents bout ur whereabout!
This is a very naive act!!

Hehehehe... I'm evil...

PeI Saan insist me putting this ugly pic of mine...
"Me only...Me only"
Too much fat collected on my arm... -_-"

All the girls...

Hong Hong n Carolyn..

How come i am not in this pic?!

Hee... me n the birthday girl...

Yeee... The couple..... I tried to avoid not to appear in this picture d...

Sesat A Tuk...

Liong Fun... He's the driver for tat day...

Man, dun be fooled by the innocent look...

He's good at clubbing stuff...

But he's a incredibly GOOD guy...

Cant forget how Pei Saan moves that day! pretty good for a freshie~ *~*

Notice that my left eye is a bit smaller than the right wan?

Getting drunk...

I am still good.... still good...

OK..... See the little devil i am holding...

It taste horrible actually...

Getting warmer...

Ok... I am officially declared i am drunk...

Terrible la both of them! Happily taking photos when i was drunk.. This fellow also drunk..This .... no need explain la i think...

Later that night...

Can u guys see wat they're doing?

They're actually showin things in Chen An's room..

-_-"

Wondering why i am not inside those pictures?

I'm not the camera man either..

Hahaha!!

Tot i am the person in the blanket?

Na.. i was sleeping peacefully n nicely in the room beside these psycho ppl.. hahaha~

Anywayz, the person who're being step is a tuk..

He was super drunk tat night i dun think he'll remember this either.. haha~

Notice Pei Saan's face...

wahahhahahahahhahahahah....

Heee~

It was nice hang out with them that night.. i had lotz of fun althoug RUSH sucks!!

I will never go there again..

Hey girls... next tym try ZOUK la ya... hehe ^-^

HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY CAROLYN SISTA!! *cheers*

Joyful job.... Miserable pay... T.T

2006-01-03T23:23:00.000-08:00

Hei hei....
Sorry la... i blog bout something happened 1 month ago...
Dun worry...
got new stuff to post just that no time la.. hehehe

Well.. this is the place i work for.. bout 1 and a half month during my holiday..

Basically i worked from 8:15 a.m. till 5:30 p.m.

N that principal just pay me RM30 per day!!!
Damn stingy...

But at least i took 2 boxes of cookies from her n din pay...~!
HAhaaAhahah tra la la la... i am happy :P

This is Chin Yen.. She's my working partner...

The woman there is Mdm. Jacky...
Basically all she does is give us food and shout at kids who run around the corridor..

Kids are damn innocent..
They'll neva smile if u din ask them to do so when taking photo...
See??

But after i ask them to do so...

They did.... hahaa
Ain't they cute?
The one with yellow shirt n funny expression is Jess, followed by Nicholas (he owns 4 pairs of NIKE shoes n wears GUESS socks... everyday -_-") N Clement Chua (my fav. student) n Joen (can see the panties!! yer hamsap!!!)

This photo was taken during X'mas party...
Tat fellow really depressed dunno for wat...

I had to feed them every meal u know?!

My hands are full of those kids' mucus, saliva, pee n even poo!!

Hailat~

Little precious Ng Xuan... she's Shawn's sista...
Too old to be in my class..

Miss him so much....
He likes to pull me around asking me play puzzle with him...
He's so tiny that the hand is just 1/7 of my hand...

Oh ya! this is Shawnie!~~
The most naughty boy in my class..
He love to go around kissing ppl...

I kena dunno how many times d...

Jeslin, the girl with the funny hair band...
N Jia Min.. eyes look like Jay Chou..

My class got Shawn n Jeslin..

N Shawn love to hug n kiss Jeslin..

ehhehe...

Drool...

Shawn n Jeslin Shawn n Jeslin Shawn n Jeslin Shawn n Jeslin Shawn n Jeslin Shawn n Jeslin

*headache* -_-

Oh ya!! stupid Shawn punched me in my face when i scolded him for bullying other gals... T.T
Neva kena punch before.... damn pain :(

N Yi Hang... chicken little...

These are their work...
Some i drew for them to colour...

But in the end i cant see wat i draw after they colour... hailat~ waste my time only..

Shawn n Zaodi...
He's an adopted kid... lucky kid..

X'mas tree we made together...
Actually it look nicer after the decoration.. but no time to take the picture...

During class..
That's the teacher i am assisting of...

Honestly i dunno what's her name..
She's not from my class...

I saw her wondering around so just grab her and take picture..
wahhaha..

Jia MIn...
She smiles only after the camera flashes...

Sesat...

See?
As i was saying...

He love kissing ppl...

I avoid avoid avoid!!!

Aiks... he's tiny and yet strong...
So... nevermind la.. just let him kiss me la since he love me so much... *wink*
heeee....

As long as bf not jealous can d..
wakakaka~

This is Mdm. Hong.. with Jess n his big tummy...
Seriously this fellow weight a tan..

I cant tahan carrying him for 2 mintues... can die ~_~

See!! kiss ppl again...
Shawniee..

My darlings!!

This two...
Has special connection...

They love taking photo...
Seriously..

When they saw me taking camera all rush towards me...
Man~ steam steam.... hehehe drool...

I love this picture...

Hey, this guy look like Aaron Kwok! He's Nelson Ko... wahahah.. especially his hair...
He's the eldest in class.. 5 years old...

There was once he jump from my back n try to hug me..
N i nearly lost my life...

Cos he jump at me and kinda strangled me..
Cant breathe at all..
N the rest of the kids saw and they ran and jump on me...

If another teacher din go in on time
I think i shld be R.I.P now~

Fucking rich kid~~

Seriosuly i feel like looking at myself 10 years back when i look at her...

Aww....
I miss them.......

ahahah
Sesat Shawn...
Same with the one in UCSI..

Ooopsss...

sesat Shawn~

Joen...
She loves to cry so much...
N i cant stand 1 inch away from her..

Raining cats n dogs...

But i scolded her so hard last tym...

Anywayz...

Man~ writting this post making me miss them even more...

Shit....

Kids are so damn adorable..

I hope they'll remember me.........

25/12 is the most loveable date on Calender... *

2005-12-26T06:19:00.000-08:00

Hmm.. how's ur holiday pals?

As usual.. i went to Spore... It's like a tradition where i need to go Spore for Xmas every year~
-_-..

I had a splendid holiday there!!

Lai lai...

Show u all the pictures i took on Christmas Eve....

oh ya!!
Saw this thingy in my cousin's hz..
Damn cute~ mini bubble gum machine..

TIGER!!!
My cousin brother's clock..

Hee..
okokok...

i went to Suntec City Mall...
N this is the so-called "Fortune Fountain"..

It's huge!! damn hard to take this photo...
N it says there if u go round the middle of the fountain...
It will bring u good luck n wealth

Well... a lot of ppl believe as u can see...

Y i din go??

See!! so many ppl Q-ing up...
U think i stupid izzit?! Q up for half and hour just to touch a few metal bars??!!

-_-"....

I saw this garden beside the mall...
Funny name~

But it's quite a nice place i can say....
A lot of ppl pak to inside...

T.T how envy...

After that,
We went to esplanade mall...
(Sorry this pic a bit blur... camera no batt d~)

Neva heard of it before??

Does this reminds u of something?

Some ppl name it "Durians"..
I bet u know why...

It's really damn sharp!!
The usage of this building is...
Actually same as Malaysia's MPO...

I think this building's cool!!

Come..

Let me show u...

We walked thru lots of corridors...
N i accidentally deleted them -_-"

Paise la...

My parents walked damn fast...
So i cant managed to snap lots of pictures...

Only those i have special feelings..
For some reason i like this kinda face portrait... kena cut half half that type.. ehhe

Ok.. i must explain this..
It's not because of my technic that this picture turned out blurr...

It's cause this pic is memang blur wan!!

Something cool...
This is how girls will rule the world in future...
Heee...

Damn cute!!
Little paper boys cried for help...

Yer!! hamsap!!
I dunno wat izzit actually... it's situated beside the beach girl...

Hehehe.... *drool*

Ok... this is inside the durian..Well... they put some X'mas decoration there...

It's special cos all the X'mas trees are made of cotton..

See??
I would like to wear them but it's just now my size...

Hmm...

Ok.. i know i look ugly with specs...
What to do?! i had red eyes that day cant wear contact... ~_~

Tat's y this is the only pic that u can see my face... haha

Outside the esplanade...

Big blue lights floating on water...

Well...
I was surprised to see underneath those blue floating lights...
It's actually the carpark!!

Cool design...

Somehow i love this picture...
If din really notice it...maby cant tell which is the reflection and which is the ground...

Finally my mum found the shop where she design the clothes for teddy bears to wear...
No wonder she wants to visit the durian la..~

Scarry bear!!
Damn big~ i think it's taller than me-_-"

Went to another shopping mall..
Marina Square

Man...
how can i keep fit with all these goodies around me?!!

So lucky to see live Jazz band!!

So unlucky my parents were rushing....
So i just managed to listen to hald a song and a blurred picutre... T.T

Well...

I guess that's all for my Christms Eve!!

How bout urs? ^-^