Well, the short semester ended.. two days ago...
Relieved?? I'm not sure.. :/
Lots of things happened during the past 2 months. Been having lots of ups and downs, mood swings, mixed feelings, hi bye lots of frens, had lots of rush hours..
I wonder how much longer can i take all these craps... (of course i expect something worst in future thou..)
Had my concerto jury two days ago..
It was a total disappointment. Never expect i will play that bad. Yeah, accidents. Still, i considered it to be the worst playing throughout the whole semester. (I think i played even better during recital and classes).
Sigh... I cried. Been tahan-ing my tears on stage and also the time when i walked out of the hall. Then, i burst out~
I was so helpless during that time. I just feel like talking to someone but no one is there. (Although Su Mei is there beside me... but...)
Mr. Loo saw me crying even though i tried to avoid him..
But he said something to me after the performance and i really thank him for those words he said.. Although the words he said is quite "limited" :p . But i believe words are powerful~ cos it can destroy u or make u a better person. So i was really touched when i know that he actually cares. (I hope he does ^-^ if not i'll be perasan-ing)
Also, i really thank Dr. Jeff for being there. He's so far, the most caring and understanding lecturer i've ever met. He sent me sms saying i've done a great job, it was a nice performance. I doubt it~ *_*
Later that day, i went out lunch with Mr. Loo and Su Mei and others. I was kinda nervous and malu at the same time.. Mixed feelings again.. But i went for lunch in the end also..
Then i realized that actually Loo is a very funny guy~! he's friendly and i wonder why i was sooo fucking afraid of him for the past 2 years -_-"
Most importantly, he is not as ''geeky'' as i though :p Found his facebook and friendster!! haha~ He's actually a very fun person to hang out with.. Cant believe i said this but i hope i can hang out with him more often in future ^-^
Then, my day ends with the Chamber Music Concert. Oh, i was selected to play for the concert this semester.. again! was so excited when i found out that.. It took me by surprised seriously~ i never thought we played that well... But the concert went on very well ^-^ although lots of unhappy and messy things happened in between and i was actually very panic before i went on stage. But luckily the performance went on well. I feel that it was actually better than the assessment day itself. Although my partner made a few mistakes.. but the whole thing was kinda good :p will post up the video very soon people!
Sigh... had lots of mixed feelings, and not to mention MORE nightmares lately.. It's really tearing me apart..
Well, frens come and frens go.. But i never though my fren will leave me in this way..
I always say that love is a deadly trap. If not people wont use the word "fall" in love in the first place. Although i always said that in the past, I don't really understand how it feels... or more precisely, what it meant.
But now i sorta get what it means.
My fren chose to leave me although it was really painful. And i believe that it hurts him more than it hurts me. But i think that he made a right choice. In fact, i think he.. no, we should take the action 2 months earlier.
My decision indirectly hurt a guy's soul. But i feel that, sometimes the act of cruelty is the show of kindness. Therefore, when i've choose the path. I'll stick to it. Although I'm not sure if i will regret in the end. But, i must take the responsibility for what i've chosen, and what i've promise. And it hurts me as well. Seriously it does.
But I believe that I'm doing this for the person I love and the person who loved me.
I thank God that I met him. He's the sweetest guy i've ever met. But fate decides that we shall be frens. At least that is what i though.
Ya, he'll always be my best fren.
And I shall return to the Hui Kee I want to be and wave old Hui Kee good-bye.
