It really hurts so much...

It just hurts so much when the person you love and care the most do not regard you importance of existance in their life.

This is so unfair.

And i most certainly hate to see her cries. :(

Exaggerated?? I don't think so...

Last two days, a guy named Chris called me. I can’t explain how excited I am after talking to him. How I wish I could just scream out loud~ Finally!! I’ve found a band that plays similar type of music my ex-band used to play and most importantly, he replied me! How I wish I could fly back to KL now and have a jamming session with those people. I don’t care how it will turn out; I just want to have fun! And I really do hope things will work out smoothly. ^^

It has been a while I go around searching for vacant band to join after the “great lost” of mine… It’s true that I myself was shocked to be carried away by the overwhelmed feeling deep down inside my soul. Nobody can understands how I endure the sleepless nights and hatred that had grew so hard inside me which nearly cost me to lost the most important person of my life. It tranquilizes me. No joke. I’ve never realized the passion inside me grew so huge, so hard and so fast even I myself could not resist. I tried to free myself from that emotion, I tried to bottle it up, and I tried to run away from it. But it stays silently in me until this very day. It’s true that I lied to people around me, even myself. I told myself to listen to my mother and friends, for it is not my profession, nor it is a professional thing to do (according to them). And I should do something more meaningful, something more professional, something belongs to the “higher-class people”.

Seriously, who cares?! I’ve realized something lately and I shall stop lying to myself. Having a band of my own had been my dream since I was young, and I shall fulfill this dream and not to be ashamed of it. And I shall give the credit to Avril Lavigne. Since there are totally no bands to be seen or heard in the place where I grew up, she’s my only influence and model to be followed. So what I am a classical student? I can do something contemporary student can do and I vow to do it better! However, it has been a mistake for me to search for the suitable persons in school that have the same passion, and most importantly, the same bond. It’s so much harder than I thought. People don’t seem to give a damn to u when they feel that u have nothing. But the problem is, they judge people so fast that they can’t even see how it happens. Well, I’ve given up the idea of depending on my school, and try to be smart. Maybe it’s my problem. Or maybe luck doesn’t fall on my side. And this is the main reason I clanged so hard on my previous band when they abandoned it, and make myself miserable because I have a feeling I will never find another band like them ever. Therefore, I’ve decided to go on my own even people disapprove me. So what if I really can’t sing as well as somebody u know? I have faith and passion stronger than anyone else. I am sure of that. I’ve been through so much I don’t mind endure even more just to achieve what i wanted.

Because this is my dream.

Holiday!!

Just started my holiday.. man, i am so glad it's finally here!!

Went to incubus tribute the other day~ and it was so damn cool! seriously.. i never thought Malaysia's underground bands have such good quality! (baboon! now i know why u love incubus so much last time d! haha...)

But too bad i din take any pictures.. so ntg to show u all..

From the bottom of my heart: they are superb!

Then i went to zoo on Saturday!!

So happy... *la la la la la*



It sounds lame at first when my bf suggested zoo.. but on second thought, it's kinda fun too!

Lai lai... show u our pretty pretty pictures ^^


At the entrance..



Aiya, cannot see my head~



OK~ make my neck longer then can see d...

Our ticket...

Actually it's kinda cheap thou... RM 15 only...

Inside zoo..

New soft toy!

(p/s: not mine.. someone bought it for himself -_-)

This elephant is super greedy i tell u!!

He snatch the food from me twice!

Nice lake... hmm~

Eagle-wannabee!

We secretly took a shop's product without permission..^^

Marilyn Manson wanna-bee!

It seriously scared the kids around him tat day... -_-"

To the Aquarium!Yeah!

He spotted a cave and took of his shirt to take photos~~ AA~aaa!! so memaluukann!!Caveman -wannabee!

wahaha!! my silly bf...

Wahaha! tummy damn big oi!!

Best picture taken!

Ostrich wanna-bee..

Cow wanna-bee!

huh?!

his deer quite cute.. hee

Ah Soon?!?(Bu li mao...)

Wanted to take baboon picture for my dearest babun but it rains! -_-" damn...

In children's corner...

Really got mickey mouse o!!

Woo i love snakes!!

But they hamsap!! >.<

http://www.youtube.com/v/3ctOlHI0j7U" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="425" height="350">

Jay: Waa how come the hair so rough one?Jay: The ear also so hard! -_-"

This is called pony-tail..

I wonder why the animals wink at us so much that day... Hmm...

See?

Leng zai...

To the reptilia center!

Woah!! Naruto toad does exist!! O_O"

We spotted a lizard that day..

Doing a kung-fu pose!
Look at his soaks!! It's his sister's!

Later...

Taken during elephant show..

Taken during multi-animal show... (sounds like an animal with 4 heads..)

He volunteered to go out and challenge the ape~!http://www.youtube.com/v/ZC0VShK8Tso" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="425" height="350">

And this is the reward!

Back stage photo shooting with the apes! free one o~~

Seriously this is the first time i felt that apes are actually super adorable!! and they are so friendly! especially the smaller ape.. she loves to hug ppl around until the trainer scold her cos she cant stop hugging me! haha... super cute!

It's such a pain to see that they are going to extinct soon in this world.. althought they have strenght 4X stronger than human, but they still look so fragile... and they still cant escape the fate being killed in the wild..

I suddenly recall of a wish i made when i was young, i hope i can grow up to be someone that can speak for the living things around me, someone to protect them.. i forget that wish i made, cos i've chosen music...