What's wrong with me?!

Have u people noticed that i actually updating my blog everyday??

Damn.. I'm bored to death...

Well, my bf is obviously too bz again..

Sigh* dunno what else to say man...

U see... (sigh again~) I apparently waited bout 2 weeks to see him for a couples of hours and now i have to wait another 2 weeks again..
Seriously, missing and waiting to see the person that u love is so bloody torturing... and i meant it.. (dead serious)

What makes me real sad is....

I actually told him bout my blog, but he dun seem to be interested to read it ! so fucking sad =(

Is he :

a) Too busy
b) Not interested of any shit that i did
c) He forgets (yeah right..)
d) Again, too busy with his work
or
e) Flirting with other gals (hmm... quite impossible.. so, this is cancelled)

So, which one is it? vote! vote!

Damn! I'm just so bloody bored and bored really kills me! I'll start thinking bout him and this... really makes him sick =(

I remembered once he told me that he's that kinda guy who will concern more bout his work less bout gf.. Seriously, this sucks!

I know this is good for his future.. but not totally good for relationship k? (I dun understand why i get so worked up?! I guess i just cant bear to let him dump me aside.. and i dun wanna it to happen. Summore he'll spend endless hours in lab.. these are driving me crazy!!!)

Actually, we don't seem to have so much pro before.. But, after SAM, our problems seems to arose... damn..

After SAM, we went back hometown.. And that's the time he started to kill monster! and u know what's his excuse for that? "Cos U're travelling most of the time (going KL and Spore) and I feels bored so i played it with my frens.."

Well, so will he go find another GF if i cant company him and he's bored? (WTF?!)

How bout me?! When i'm bored all alone in d middle of nowhere (most of the times) and no frens to spend time with! or even tok to anyone..And i hate to be left out! So,all i can do is think bout him or finding ways to talk to him and stuff..
But all i did just bring pressure and stuff to him.. *Sob Sob Sob Sob*

Fine!

I took advice from Hui Ming.. It's actually not ALL my fault...

I know he's tired and under pressure.. maybe after i start skol.. I'm the one who will ignore him... yeah~ right >)

But... all i wish is he'll stay the same as he was... He used to do so many many things for me...

And i missed that...

I really do..

Worst day of my life..

Fellows...

I was so totally heart-broken yesterday ...

I looked forward for yesterday to come. Because I finally can meet my dearest.. I've been waiting for this day for almost 2 weeks (1 week means 1 year for me if i cant see him..)

So, i took Mayang Sari bus at 7:45 in d morning in order to reach here in time for my piano lesson.. And i tell u, the bus was so freaking cold i felt like i'm one of the frozen pork in Cold Strorage!
Ok, nvm, I was so cold that I had to curled myself up. Then, my cell phone rang..

My bf called to tell me that instead of meeting me at 4, I have to wait him till 5 cos he forget that he had a test. Then i said it's ok, I can wait.. But, he suddenly said :"I have to tell u today i can only company u for dinner then i have to send u back cos I have LOTS of hmwork."
Actually he kinda told me tis, the day before and i say i dun mind. Even to have a glance of him I would be satisfied.

However, he called second time to tel me that it's actually 5.30 and not 5 and again, he repeated the sentence. So, i got kinda fed up and bloted :" Are u trying to tell me that u are not free to come out with me?" Actually i meant nothing at all! I'm just concerned that he might feel uneasy to tell me that he's not able to come out with me cos he scared that it might hurt my feelings cos he already promised me..

However, he was so fucking angry at me and started to scold me!



Anyway, just feeling contented for doing so many things all by myself... hehehe... mayb u guys think these are craps~ Or maybe some of u guys tried it long long time ago... But please dun laugh at me~ I just did the first step out! :]

By the way, I'm still feeling so high (maybe cos of the chocolate bar~~)

What's wrong with this blog?!

I spent whole night figuring how to put my links to my blog...

And, i finally did it!!
(so damn happy seriously cos i'm a computer noob.. and I can figured it out all by myself..erm.. with Sheen's help also-la)

But!! how can this stupid blog do this to me! all i can put is 3 links and the rest of the add i key in is invisible! What's worng with this stupid blog?! I did everything correct and i double check.. no no, i think i checked for thousands of times! but it's still useless man! what else can i do? damn it!

Aiks, guess i have to try agian tomolo cos it's kinda late (for my parents, not me -_-) and prevent my mum from nagging also... And i've been complaining to my bf that my parents are getting to my nerves since i got back home yesterday~ what i done wrong?!
seriously, I dunno..

And now, i left one thing... TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO PUT PICTURES to my blog where i can write and put pic together.. just like Fong Jeng's blog.. (but till now she still haven tell me how she did it after asking her dozens of times~ -_-!!)

Ok, i guess it's pretty late for my parents and i have to go to bed...

Just hope that any Samaritan outside there can solve my problem! >.<

Thank God..

Hey fellows.. seriously i though i was going to die today man..

Guess what happen? I woke up this morning and i feels kinda funny, it's like, something is not quite right there... So, after shopping in One Utama with Qee and Amz, i went back S.Pyramid (which i need to take 3 buses to reach) and wait for my bf to fetch me back Muar...

Before that, my mum called and told me bout the bad weather these few days and she was like :"Dun come back on evening time, come back in the morning, these few days rains heavily very dangerous don't come bek on that time dun!" But, i choose to ignore because I dun really have a choice because my bf insisted to go bek today so... what to do? My bf msg other gals?!! mahai!!
Ok Ok, back to the topic.


Furthermore, Qee told me weather was damn bad these few days and she kinda freaked me out by repeating "U must remind ur bf to drive slow and be careful it's dangerous!" to me... Worst still, Amz nearly made me faint by saying ice berg (or wadever it is) smashed his car the other day which forced him to stop till it finished...


Then my head was like... Hailat~~ damn frightening man.. summore the feeling of uneasyness is still inside me which i sensed that something bad was going to happen... Therefore, I promised myself if it rains later when i'm on my way bek to Sunway, I'll tell my bf not to drive bek and if he insist, I'll take bus back by myself...


And, it rains!! and raining like thousands cats and dogs man seriously! So i decided to do what i already planned...

But, fail also la...( dammit!)


Therefore, I prey all along the journey back home (seriously I'm so stress that i cant breathe properly) but the weather is still fine at the beginning but storms came in a glance! and lightning everything and there was a powerful lightning struck just on top of the car which i can actually felt the vibration... scary shit though!

And we left no choice but to stop at the hentian Seremban there which I ate a whole plate of Nasi Lemak (damn fat dy a!) and delay for half an hour i guess...

And finally the road was visible again and happily we drove back... But actually i was quite pissed at my bf because he made me worry like hell and he doesn't even know I nearly died of frustration!

But anyway, I'm glad that i got home safe and sound... (I was wondering will God listens to my prayer b'cos I only find God when I'm in trouble and I hardly think of praying when I'm in good condition and stuff...)

Seriously the weather is getting worst nowadays...

PLEASE PROTECT OUR EARTH TO PREVENT "THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW " FROM HAPPENING.

Thank you.

Amzz Gang RoXxxXx!!

Oh Yeah!! Another gathering for AmZ Gang once again ladies and gentlemen,

Amz, Amz-zeh, Vamz, Julamz and of course me, IZ!

* not forgetting our favourite member of all times --> Baboon! and also the one we'll always miss ---> mAmz and also the one who is still missing ---> Palamz (-_-!!)

Yup! Nice gathering yesterday seriously.. Although we're (not actually we... say! Whose fault is that?!) late for one and a half hours which ruin my movie plan!!! (pissed, angry, exploded~) Seriously I'm so damn semangat for movie and the two ladies, who are Julie and Van, made us waited them for one and half hours -_- b'cos Julie washed dishes for half and hour (WTF??) Luckily I'm smart enough to wait inside my shop and pretend not to punch the working card (or wadever it is) so i earned 4 bucks more!

So, Amz is the one who still drove (manual summore yicks!!) us around and thx him so much cos w/out him, no more Amz gathering... hehehe... So, we're late for one and half hours (7o'clock date but meet each other at 8.30 haizz..) and we spent another half an hour thinking where to have dinner (which is already 9 o'clock) and finally, we had dinner in Laksa Shack and in the end I had an upset stomach and i bought another hotdog because my stomach still feels empty and again, my movie plan is seriously ruin!! haizz..

After that, we fetched Julie to her bf's house to collect some towel stuff and she decided to stay overnight at her bf's house. Then, we drove all the way to Taipan to have Starbucks which, another guest joined us! Jian Lun is his name. Ok, this is not my point actually, there's something damn embrassing happened in Starbucks.

When Jian Lun arrived, I dunno what he was doing but all i know is he tried to greet Van who was holding a Cleo magazine and apparently dunno that Jian Lun's beside her. So, Jian Lun moved closer to her and say "Hi" The next thing Van did was flung the magazine to the air and jerked of like a puppet on the string (jerked very very hard indeed) and she let out a terrible scream (Sry Van, but ur scream really scares me that day..hee)The next thing i knew is Jian Lun swallowed the whole packet of brown sugar which i took for my coffee and really freaks me out. -_-!! Oh ya..! I had an idea... What if we take our laptop with webcam and talk to Baboon online at Starbucks so it's kinda like full Amz gathering already...what u think? hehe..

Yup, after gathering reached home already 12 something. Due to the Caffine, I dun feel slipy at all so i online and chat with Amz for another couples of hours which made my aunt came out with messy hair and half-opened eyes scolded me for dozens times..aiks~ (Anywayz,Thanks Amz for praising my bf which made me felt that I'm so lucky and confirmed bout certain things as well) But it'll be more pleasant if Qee and Baboon and others join us too!! ^-^

I'll upload the pic ... dun worry guys... but only 2 pic i managed to capture yes night... (they all damn down dun wanna take pic... =( )

Everytime pass by Taylor's I'll think of the times we have before.. those times we cry and laugh together... all the sweet memories... awWwww~~ (sniff sniff *)



Yes!! Amz Gang forever!!!

p/s: right guys?

I'm a fool..

Yup, long time din post up things so i guess... sigh.. just some of my stuff here...

I dunno what happened to me lately...


When he's by my side, I wish to have some quiet time..

When he's not by my side, my love towards him increased every second, time pass agonizing (correct?) slow...

There are so many things wonder in my mind...

Why he seems to be thinking bout other stuff while he's together with me?
Why I feel so lonely even when he's holding my hand?
Why can't i feel his heartbeat when I'm in his arms?
Why I can't see myself when i look into his eyes?
Why I can't feel my hands when I'm touching his face?
Why I feel like I am looking into eyes I not familiar with?

All of these happens just because I cant feel that he's really care for me.... I cant feel that He's loving me....

His touch is not so tender as before.
His words are not truthful.
He's ordering me about and i really hate people order' me to do something (I'm not a maid ok?!)
He does not send sweet sms to me so often anymore.
He does not do romantic stuff for me eventhough i did so much for him.
He did not think of ways to stick up a "something" (which I spent almost 3 days to finish it) to his car

Ok, that does it! !

I was so annoyed bout everything and also, bout myself. Why myself?
Because, today I was so dead tired and i felt that I haven slept for bout... 2 months (seriously) and i really felt that I'm going to die soon...

But he suddenly called and asked me out for movie excitedly... Despite my tiredness and stuff, I agreed (not bear to see him sad).

Why am I such an idiot? I gave up almost everything for him and even when I felt so dead tired, I agreed to watch late night movie with him. And now I am pissed at myself and started to punch the keyboard again....

Am I behaving unreasonable again?
Am I acting like a pampered kid throwing tantrum at her loved ones?
Am I being too sensitive because I'm a Cancer?
Am I not understanding at all because he's having a hard time studying and I'm still complaining?

I guess so.... But i just can't help it....

Because love is seriously something stupid (stop nodding your head baboon -_-)
U'll do so much things to someone U really really love although he dun seem to understand girl so much even after 17 months of practice (pls refer to "Why are men so... 'lidat' wan?" Hehhe)...



Yup, I'm a fool.