Another morning...

I woke up this morning... Hoping for a better day...

Yes, i did.

But the pain roused back at me.. painfully reminds me what had happen... telling me that I lost someone i treasured so much.

Everything ain't the same anymore. The smile, the laughter, the promises....
They are just a tool for me to cover up my misery...
But they cannot do anything to heal my wound.

My wound will always be bleeding..
THe memory will haunt me always...
The pain will still remains..

And yet, i feel so numb...
Naively thinking that all these are dreams..

Shld i talk to that girl?
Shld i pretend nothing happen?
Shld i believe in what he told me?
Shld i just walk out and never turn back?
Shld i be torturing myself?
Shld i make my revenge?
Shld i show him how painful it is?

Shld i bleed?

I dunno.... I just need a hug... and lots of answers. Sincere and true answers..

My soul was murdered...

18/2/2008... I saw something that made my heart skipped a beat... something that will haunt me forever... something that cruelly sliced my soul apart... leaving it astray and waiting to be decomposed...

All the while i thought i will only see this kind of incident from TV shows... or even from some of my frens, i suppose... never did i expect, or dream that such thing will happen to me. 

The feeling is like, bounding my hands with metal ropes filled with torn, letting it sunk deep into my skin and let the blood ooze out little by little.. all i can do is wait for all the blood to run dry... nobody can hear my scream, or my pain.. and eventually, i will die.

Later, the feeling will spread to my whole body, run thru my veins an blood vessels, affecting my immune system and slow down my heart beat. I can feel nothing. All i know is i am floating, to no where. Now i cant feel my hands anymore. They are not part of my body already. I'm standing alone.. All alone in a place that i am familiar with.

All the promises turn to ashes, and they will disappear when the wind blows hard.. So hard that i cant even open my eyes. Or i choose not to open my eyes. Refused to accept the fact that i was hurt, so badly, refuse to forgive. But my heart is still reaching out, trying its best to move till the last seconds, vow to continue till the very end. Its definitely painful, exhausting and heartbreaking.. But, love overwhelmed mistakes, and forgiveness soon took its part.

The person i love the most just torn my soul apart. No matter how hard u try to sew it back, the scar will be forever visible.

NICI soft toy performance! ^_^

Finally my two little darlings have their very own video!! ahhaha

Me and my bf was watching one of our fav anime~ Samurai Champloo and suddenly this tune was in one of the episodes.. and i dunno why they sing this while explaining the sex culture in Japan -_-"

Come come let's watch the clip.. *applause pls*



Beat box: Teddy
Melody: Yang Yang

XD