I'm numb...

Been watching lots of thriller lately..

Will it affect my brain system?
Anyway, ntg to be affect of.. hehe.. i'm someone outda my mind already...

Well.. lately been feeling quite awkward..

I feel hungry so easily and i'm...

Very much guilty..

I miss my old life... so damn much.. i'm dead serious...

I feel like running away fr myself
I feel like locking myself in my room
I feel like i'm such a fucking jerk
I feel like I'm facing myself as a stranger
I feel like i'm on the edge and i'm breaking down

I feel lost....

I've been pushing my cheeks a lot lately..
Been lying to myself a lot...

What's hurt is when i'm bleeding deep inside my heart...

No...

That kinda hurt is ntg compare to the striking painfulness u feel when u look at ur hands inside someone's eyes...

Bloody hands...

It haunts me everytime I think bout it..

Shld i carry on? Shld I let it go? Shld I stay in my own dark room and continue to stare into eyes I'm trying to avoid?

It's too much for me to handle... way too much...

I can't catch my breathe... everything is totally wrong...

I shldn't have started it... and i should have end it the other day...

But I continue to fool myself... and fool the ppl around me...

Pls... someone take me out, take me far away from my guilty...

I dun wanna be depress again...

But there's no one to save me now~

Hey fellows... sorry for being away... again

Man.. life's a bitch...

Actually not exactly tat bitchy...just that sometimes i was wondering what was happening to me and stuff... and i'll feel like puking.. hhee..~

Lots of things happened lately...

Guess what... i stop contacting Calvin and stop seeing him dy... yeah~ hard to believe yeah?

Cos i did something bitchy... hehe.. but i dun think u wish to know...

Yeah~ man makes me sluty...

(i dun even know what that means... taken from Hui Wen's blog.. hee)

Again,

Dun worry, i'm still v my BF.. heheh

Yea.. there's something i wanna tok bout...

My very first band!

They're a bunch of hooey... can't deny that... but they're overall... nice ppl... And kinda glad that they asked me to sing for them...

Oh ya, tok bout singing.. today i had shitty mood... cos uh.. at first i tot the band in my skol asking me to sing the song for performance representing "Singer's division" club..

However, damn.. i dunno how to continue... sud my mind blank..

The conclusion is... they neva include me for the sing... ok, i dun really mind cos i'm not really invited in the first place..

But!! at least they shld tell me this righT? i think it's kinda shitty they neva even informed me...

Nvm, then i online and saw my band leader Jay...

He made me feel worst by saying i'm not good at singing pop song actually... damn... My heart was crushed to pieces... i think UHU not able to glue it bek... or maybe worst...

Honestly, I've wanted to sing so badly since i was like.. so young which i cant even remeber?!

And.. ok ok, i think u guys know wat i trying to say...

And i was so damn happy when my voice teacher praise me many times... hehe...

Anywayz, what was i saying just now.. oh ya! my band... Ok, i wanted to put our photos but... u know... i am totally noobs toward this kinda HTML thingy...

Tell u what.. the first glance i looked at them... I was like, "Shit, I wont come for the band for the second time" Seriously they all look like bad people... iskh~ but later only i know they are a bunch of nut shells.. whahha... really fun hanging v them...

Damn, yesterday was my birthday... although i got lots of msgs.. but not even one present i received... sad sial betul.. I dunno why... feel kinda abandone...

But feel really happy cos my bf actually cooked for me!!!

For the first tym in history he actually cook for me!!!!!!!!!!! The whole table full of food he cooked himself...

So touched.. and yet...

Guilty...

Now chatting v dearest Baboon and Kelvin (not calvin, 2 diff person)... both telling me how good my BF is... and i shld treasure him instead of flirting around...

And Kelvin said he's dinasour... extinct d...

Waoooaa.... So touching..

And i still rmber Jay is d first person who celebrated my birthday 4 me.. quite happy seriously... He's nice cant deny... hhee..

p/s: I was molested by a blind student tis morning!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OMG!!!! i nearly fainted in my practice room.... iskh~