To be.... or not to be?

Today is the day which my heart beats furiously and my palms are sweaty.. cos it's piano-lesson-day... I still cant get over it u see.. I also cant understand y I'll get so nervous before going piano lesson, honestly i feel more anxious than going to a real exam!!even after so many lessons... maybe I'm in love with Ban Hiang or somthing.. (I shivered after i type the L word.. yicks!! >,<)

Anywayz, I spent quite a lot of time thinking bout what should i do...(especially the time when i was washing the dishes.. I hate washing dishes!!!) ok, one day i happened to glanced back my collection of albums in my drawer and mi found out bout 75% of myCDs and DVDs are either in Pop, R&B, Jazz n Blues, Jinggles, Rock or even heavy metal (real heavy ones..) and the rest is classical etc. And so my first reaction is,

Shit.

And my aunt's words came to my mind "What u gonna be you gonna be." (does it make sense?)

Anyway, I started to realize my problem.. do i really like classical music or just be a mummy's nice girl? cos when i suggest my mum that i take contemp. music she was like "No Way! No way u are going for contemp. music" Ok, so that's it...

I am Confused.

I really need help.. But something really strange happen, whenever i started to lay my fingers on the keyboard to play classical music, I can feel my blood rushing thru my brains and to my fingers, it's really cool... (I knew this must have something to do with Ban Hiang!!) and I enjoyed that feeling.. am i sick?

P/s: Another reason for me to choose contemp music is b'cos classical music is so bloody serious! there are a lot of rules in playing a pieces, or even just a note.. i must sit properly when i play the keyboard (def. no cross-legs), I have to strech my fingers and i think i nearly broke my baby finger last week, I have to use my forearm to play instead of my fingers (huh?), and this and that... it's not suitable for a blur queen like me! darn it...