Let me survive in this cruel world....

Man.. i cant believe tat i just erase all the things i wrote just now~

I hate Aural II's homework... it's really giving me a hard time... T.T


Blog is a very noble thing which i can post whatever i like here..........
Indirectly this will make me feel much much better after i wrote everthing here......
N i dun care whether anyone reads it............
I just wanna feel better.........
N i notice actually there're lots of ''silence'' readers here....

Hmm....


Well, gonna write like the way i wrote 9 months ago....


Ok, here goes.......


Apparently, i miss my darling so so very much.........................................................
As long as i can remember.....

I never miss him so much like the way i miss him tonight.............


i really really need hugs from him...................................
Lots of them...........


but he's sleeping now....................... i guess...........


Just saw his blog..... very old post writting bout his ex-gf............ it kinda hurts when i read that...... izzit because i can feel how my ex feel?? Or i can feel how my dearest feel when he wrote that blog...??


Man... what have i done......??

But too bad i really cant continue to be my ex's partner..............
Although sometimes i do miss the way he brushes my hair.......
But... fate brought me to another person....


People says Taurus is the best horoscope to be considered as hunsband while Gemini just seem to have too much love to spread... for other people....


Well, what do u know?
i left a Taurus n went for a Gemini...................
As i was saying, humans are unpredictable~

But honestly i do love my BF.......... current BF......... very much .......(although there're still doubt btw us... but i do love him a lot....seriously....) I know it's a short time we be together.... But i dun think love shld be measured using period... (time, for goodness sake -_-")
*But i really hate to know that he's drinking or smoking... i HATE IT*

I know it's a retard for saying this but i really feel that i am the most lucky girl in the world to have him as my BF...
Although he never voice out his feelings to me...... N i think for some time i do mind him doing (what for hiding up all the feelings? there's someone there to care for u...) that but i believe tat he will tell me whatever i need to know when he feel like telling me... no point pushing him doing something he dun willing to...


Sincerely i hope that he's not the devil that i feared of..........
i dun wanna be hurt by the one i love....... trust me, i know how it feels.............

But anywayz, i wont treat him like the way i treat my ex..... Guys tend to take things for granted... when girls treat them good they'll thought that they'll have her forever.... but they never know there's a limit of treating someone u love real nice... until u lose her...

But doesn't mean that i will treat him bad of course....................
Giving him more love than my last relationship for sure n...
Love in a smarter way..........


Meanwhile.....

my mum just called me n my tears drop down.............. damn............. i dun wanna feel tis way............. i dun wanna see myself crying... i haven been crying for so long please dun let me remember the way i look when i cry.......................
I miss her a lot too......... I've done too much damage on her.............

everytime when things happened to me i asked myself to be strong....STOP depending on ppl around me... dun depend on the person who i love n the person who love me because this will make them feel uncomfortable n yet my problem is not solve.... N i scared i will lose the person who are really important to me..........

But i fail to be the strong gal i looked into my eyes..............

N i end up breaking down my own nerves....


God please show me the path i need to walk.............................



I cant continue to smile n shine for ppl around me if i still cant passed my own test............







I am sorry for everything i've done......................... T.T
I really tried my best....................





*poof! i feel better now already ^-^ Study music is not as fun as everyone else thinks........ seriously*