I hereby launch my complaints.. again..

U can choose not to read this seriously...

But i just wanna let those frens who are not near to me knows how's my life recently..

N i bet u already can guessed how it went.. (read the title?)

Anywayz, my 2nd recital was a failure too.. thou i did a bit better than the first but still it sucks like hell.. n i kinda let Su Mei and other frens down.. They supported me .. a lot..

N i was so touched to hear Su Mei whispered this to me before i went up to stage
"U dim wan! dun worry.."

Yup, she saw me practice..

Well, i guess this is the most challenging thing in musicians (thou i'm still not a recognized wan..)
No matter how hard u tried, o practiced o do watever thing to make sure your performance went ntg wrong..

But all ppl see is the moment u perform.. so.. They definately wont understand...
Even thou they feel that u played good...
U still cant passed yourself...

Niwayz, just suddenly feel lost .. totally lost after my recital...

Suddenly felt that i am good at ntg..
I pushed myself so hard to make things perfect... But things just seem to be getting worst and worst... N, i wanna to be strong n do my work all over again so that my result will be satisfying but things just dun work out...
N i'm tired.. physically and mentally...

Am i just stupid or i really din work hard enough?!

Y do i seem to be complaining most of the time while others dun seem to have a problem.....

Sigh sigh sigh........

i really hate my recent life...
So damn fucking much....

Every arteries in my body, every muscles and cells in my brain are wrenched...

Sometimes i just hate to force myself to be strong......

I am used to be pampered by someone last time...
N i really really need time to adjust myself to be independant...

And to remind myself i am not in the previous situation anymore...

I need to grow up...

N growing up is a tiring process....

But still,
I prefer being pampared...
Really.... :'(