I wish i can lost my memory..

Ya, like what my title says.. i would like to lost my memory...

What happened again u ask?

I would like to know what happen myself too..

My mum cried in front of me again..

fucking shit~ i dun even know what i have done..

I just know tat my relatives complaint bout me again... and it breaks her heart...

I know she's heartache when ppl try to say something to hurt me~ i know tat mum... and i feel

heartache too myself although i really dun think tat i've done anything wrong..

Well.. not entirely nothing wrong anywayz...

I wish to talk to someone who understands my situation cos i've no streght to repeat that long story of my family rules...

Ok, i must write out some of the things.. which are easier to understand.. since my chest is really burning and it's gonna explode soon..

Some of my closest relatives think that i am a very playful girl and my mum tolerates me too much, giving me too much feedom for me to do my stuff... and i just keep on wasting my parent's money..

Dammit~!!! ok, i admit that i kinda use a lot of money in my holiday cos i went shopping... but~ shit~.. i dunno wat to say...

This time it's cos i said i wanna join a dance class.. WITH my cousin sommore~

And they think i am not mature enough to actually thinking of joining dance class in this moment cos i am still a student n i'm wasting my mum's money..

I'm not mature cos i am wasting my mum's money for my own pleasure..

WTF?!

It's my holiday now k?~ dammit~~~!

U'll neva understand my feelings... i've being watched by my family since young.. well, thanks to my mum who tells everyone bout my story (especially when i have bf) but i din blame her cos i know she needs someone to talk to and my relatives are the only bunch of ppl she can think of...

But i dun understand y they say i am playful girl who fool around all the times?!!!??!

Fucking shit.

Why?! cos i am the first to have bf when no girl in my entire family has in such young age?! Well.. they're smart cos they neva tell...

I am stressed out.. every move i took every thing i did were being watched and ppl comment too much....

People whom i loved so much complaint bout me..

Do u know how that feels?!

It's more deadly than taking a knife and stab urself in the heart...

I love my aunts... seriously, from the depths of my heart... But what they did was hurting me...

Y cant they try to understand me...?

I believe that human just live once... I wanna do somehting i like when i'm still young..

Maybe i din consider much...

Maybe i am really naive and not mature...

But...

Just... stop hurting my mum...

I really dun wish to see her cry...

And i wanna be free....

I'm so stress....

~I really tried my best to be a perfect daughter~