It's a bad day

I love Sean's T-Shirt with the words
"Love is for Losers"
on it... haha

Yes i am having a bad day
I could sing a sad song and turn it around so that i can see happy faces looking at me
I wish i could
But i couldn't

My soul's wrenched and everything turns upside down
Every cells in my body struggles to free themselves from the thick fog inside me
The smoke of darkness crawl silent, cruely into every parts of my body
I'm weak... So weak to even defend it for myself

The sound of viol melts into my heart
Eventually all the notes spread out like thousand needles
Poking through my vains and vessels
Crushing my bones and devouring my flesh

The muse in me love play tricks to my brain
Magnifing every dust around me
Vomitting the poison into my brittle pea brain
Big waves were create by gentle breeze anyway

Dun turn your back on me
I need your smile to warm me
I need your hug to protect me from all the harm around me
I need you by my side

But...

I'm tired...
Tired of being a clown
Tired of putting a mask to face the world
And those people who meant hell lot to me
When everything i say falls to deaf ears

I hate the feeling of guilt
I hate the feeling of sorry
I beg for forgiveness and
Cleanse the sins i've created

I fear the feeling of lost
I fear to regret
To crush a future with my bare hands
To crush a heart i dun meant to hurt

I'm just extremely exhausted...
I wanna be free